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| Islam & The Concept of
Friendship Isa Al-Bosnee Humans have always been social creatures and in need of friends and companions. Much of our lives is spent in interaction with others. For us Muslims who are living in a society where we are clearly a minority, the issue of choosing right companions is essential for preserving our Deen. Befriending righteous and virtuous Muslims is an essential means for staying on the Straight Path. Strong individuals, on the other hand, are the core of a strong community, something that Muslims should always strive for. We all know that we were created for a
specific purpose and that Allah the Most High has given us life in order
to test us. None of us will deny that we are here for a relatively
short period of time and that we shall meet Allah (s.w.t.) one Day. Once we know our purpose and our goal, we
should seek ways to achieve them so as to benefit our own selves. All of
us believe that Allah has sent us a Messenger (s.a.w.) and revealed to us
the Qur'an, the Best Speech. In an authentic Hadith, the Prophet
Muhammad (s.a.w.) said: The bases for the actions of those who
follow the evil ways are corrupt; their actions are built upon misguidance
and deviation. Their deeds are worthless to them as Allah (s.w.t.) said:
"And We will proceed to what they have done of deeds, so We shall
render them to scattered floating dust." [25:23]. Their actions, even
if we regard them as righteous and noble are of no value to them, so how
can they be of benefit to us? Friends are those who feel for their
companions, in both happy and sad moments. If we share our feelings with
the wrong- doers whose actions are worthless and based on corruption, then
we are following the same ways and standards as they are. Affection
which results from that friendship leads to love and closeness to other
than the righteous believers, and this may even lead to avoiding those who
are on the Straight Way. Mixing with followers of any way other than
that of the Guidance also results in a change in one's behaviour, morals
and conduct. If we agree, follow and are pleased with such friends, then
we inherit their habits, behaviours and even religion. Such a Muslim
would find himself in a situation wherein he is willing to hide his Islam
in front of those who despise it (those that he considers as friends) and
to separate from the believers. When this situation occurs, a point
is reached when there is a very slight difference between the Muslim and
his wrong-doing companion. Such a companionship is the root of
sickness of one's heart and loss of one's Deen. Instead of making friends with the
misguided ones we should befriend the righteous and treat the rest in a
gracious and just manner. Staying on a sufficient distance is necessary,
yet treating everybody in a noble and kind manner is required. In another Hadith, Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.)
said: In his commentary of this Hadith, Imam an-Nawawy
said that the Prophet (s.a.w.) compared a good companion to a seller of
musk and spoke of the virtue of having companions who are good, who have
noble manners, piety, knowledge and good culture. Such are those who grant
us from their virtue. And he (s.a.w.) forbade us to sit with those who do
evil, commit a lot of sins and other bad deeds, as well as with
innovators, backbiters, and so forth. Another scholar said: "keeping
good company with the pious results in attainment of beneficial knowledge,
noble manners and righteous actions, whereas keeping company with the
wicked prevents all of that." Many times a Muslim is encouraged by
his friends to do evil and to forget his duties. The result is that
Muslims themselves are often ashamed to leave them to perform prayer,
their friends thus causing them to clearly deviate from the Right Path. Allah the Exalted says in the Qur'an: Allah, the All-Wise also says: Hafidh Ibn Katheer, commenting on this
verse, relates a story on the authority of Ali Ibn Abi Talib (r.a.a.) and
says that any friendship for other than Allah is turned into enmity,
except what was in it for Allah the Mighty and Majestic: Two who are
friends for Allah's sake; one of them dies and is given good news that he
will be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and he supplicated
for him, saying: O Allah, my friend used to command me to obey You and to
obey Your Prophet (s.a.w.) and used to command me to do good and to forbid
me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not
let him go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown
me, until You are satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with
me." So he is told: "Had you known what is (written) for you
friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little." Then his
friend dies and their souls are gathered, and both are asked to express
their opinions about each other. So each one of them says to his friend:
you were the best brother, the best companion and the best friend."
And when on of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings
of Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: O Allah, my friend used
to order me to disobey You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to
do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and told me that I would not meet
You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what you have
just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are
dissatisfied with me." Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and
their souls are gathered, and both are asked to give their opinions about
each other. So each one says to his friend: you were the worst brother,
the worst companion and the worst friend." That is the end of those who do not have
Taqwah and those who befriend for a sake other than that of Allah the
Exalted. Allah has surely spoken the truth and we all should grasp what He
has informed us of. It is through the good company that Allah, the Most
High, saves those who are astray and guides the wicked. The benefit of
mixing with the righteous is immense, and it will, insha'allah, be even
more obvious to us in the Hereafter. One of the early Muslims said that it
is from Allah's blessings upon a youth when he turns to worship that he is
given brother who is a follower of the Sunnah encouraging him upon
it". Sealing a friendship for Allah's sake will
result in one's receiving protection of Allah (s.w.t.). And as Ibn Abbas
said: "No one may taste true faith except by this (i.e. building
relationships for Allah's sake), even if his prayers and fasts are many.
People have come to build their relationship around the concerns of the
world, but it will not benefit them in any way." A scholar has said:
"To seal a friendship for Allah's sake indicates the obligation of
establishing relationships of love and trust for His sake; this is a
friendship for the sake of Allah. It also indicates that simple affection
is not enough here; indeed what is meant is a love based upon alliance.
This entails assistance, honour, and respect. It means being with those
whom you love both in word and deed." Loyalty for the sake of Allah
really means to love Allah and to come to the assistance of His Deen; to
love those who are obedient to Him and to come to their help. Moreover,
the Shahadah "La Ilaha Illa Allah" requires us to ally ourselves
for the sake of Allah, and it requires us to ally ourselves to the Muslims
wherever we find them. In two other authentic narrations of the
Prophet (s.a.w.) we were commanded to keep company with a believer
only(3), and told that a person will be with those he loves(4). So if we
love and associate ourselves with those who are misguided, we should fear
for our fate. The wise person is the one who prepares himself for the
Hereafter, not the one who neglects his faith and falls into the trap of
Satan who tells him that he will be forgiven and that he can do whatever
he wishes. If we truly believe that the best speech is the Speech of Allah
and that he best guidance is the guidance of Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.), we
should act in accordance with them, lest we build a proof against
ourselves. Ali (r.a.a.) said: "Mix with the noble people, you become
one of them; and keep away from evil people to protect yourself from their
evils." If we are truly concerned about our fate, we must come to
this realisation: those who take us away from remembering Allah, from
obeying Him and His Prophet (s.a.w.), those who fail to remind us of our
daily prayers and those who do not give us sincere advice in regard to our
Deen; such are really our foes and not our friends. On the other side, a believer is the mirror
of his brother"(5), and if he sees any faults in the other believer,
he draws his attention to it, helps him to give it up and helps him wipe
away any evil that he may have. Ibn Hazm said: Anyone who criticises you
cares about your friendship. Anyone who makes light of your faults cares
nothing about you." How can we expect sincere advice and
exhortation in regard to our religion from those who are displeased with
our Deen or are simply indifferent? Are they going to help us achieve the
purpose of our life, or will they take us away from it? Will they desire
for us Allah's pleasure or is that Completely irrelevant to them and not
their concern at all? Are they leading us to al-Jannah or to the Hellfire?
These are the questions we have to ask ourselves, lest we wake up after we
die. "O you who believe! Take care of your
own selves. If you follow the right guidance and enjoin what is right and
forbid what is wrong no hurt can come to you from those who are in error.
The return of you all is to Allah, then He will inform you about (all)
that which you used to do." [5:105] We ask Allah to make us of the righteous ones and give us companions that will take us away from His Wrath and lead us to His Pleasure and Paradise. References: with permission from: |
