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| Developing Morally and
Psychologically Sound Muslim Youth Dr Malik Badri I am very very happy to be here tonight.
This gathering of young Muslim hearts, committed to Allah (swt) is
something that really amazes elderly people like me. When I was your age
and I used to go to the mosque for ‘ishaa prayer, if I remembered to do
that. I found that in the mosque, there were only a few elderly people,
with one leg in the grave and one leg still outside. They realised that
they were about to die, so they came to repent. Young people would be out
and about, some in bars and other bad places. So indeed, if after all
this, Allah shows me that the young people are the ones now in the
mosques, then this is a great tiding for the future of Islam. It’s very good that you are in a country
which gives you the freedom to make your ‘ibaadah (worship) the way you
want. I was very pleased to know from Shaykh Yahya that there were at
least a thousand people coming in and out of this mosque during its Open
Day yesterday. It is very great that you did this. The Prophet (s) said
that the one who does not thank human beings will not thank Allah. So we
should thank people who give us refuge, freedom to worship and to make our
own societies. It is an obligation on us, irrespective of their religion,
to thank them for what they do. I would like also to give my great respect
to Shaykh Yahya, the imam of this mosque and to the leader of the young,
our brother here Shaykh Shadi. The Shadi is the one who sings beautifully,
songs that inshaAllah give compassion to Allah (swt). So my dear brothers and sons, it is
important that we should think about the different aspects that make a
balanced Muslim personality. I am going to talk about four different
factors. It is the habit of scientists nowadays to try to reduce anything
they want to study to its components. For example, if they have a
compound, they want to see what elements make it up. From the elements
that make the compound, they go down to the atoms that make the element,
and the sub-atomic particles. All of this is called reductionism: you
reduce something down. In the social sciences and in psychology, people
also try to make a reduction of the factors that make a personality,
factors that make up motivation, or things like this. But it is not
successful in the social sciences, not like the physical sciences. Now I want to see whether Islamic
commitment and the balanced Islamic personality has any bits and pieces,
so that we can say it’s made up of this and that? In the field of social
psychology, there is what is known as attitude. You develop an attitude;
you like, hate or act in a particular manner. The attitude is a complex
form of behaviour. Psychologists try to divide attitude into three
factors. The first one they call the cognitive (or
information). I will try to follow this in order to analyse the Islamic
way of having a balanced, committed personality. But then I will show you
that these elements are actually Islamic. The cognitive: you must know that there is
no god to be worshipped but Allah (swt). You must know the attributes and
names of Allah; you must understand and remember that He is the Merciful,
the Able, and the Sustainer of the whole universe, from the speck of dust
floating in the air. Allah sees this and knows how many pieces there are,
the atoms and sub-atomic particles. Allah sees and knows everything
because He built the universe, He made it, and He brought it from
nothingness. Also, He knows the very largest galaxy, which is millions of
light years away from us. It is very strange that we humans forget,
Allah is around us all the time, whether you are two (the Qur’an says)
or three or five or more than any number of people. It is unfortunate that
we know this but still we sin. He is looking at us and we are sinning. The
Prophet (s) said that there is nobody who is more merciful and patient
than Allah. People curse Him morning and night, by saying that He has a
son, that He is three or fire or an idol that they built. Yet He gives
them food and drink and lets them live upon this earth. So, each person
must have information, knowledge of what God is like. It is unfortunate that many of our parents
remind us all the time of how Allah will punish us, "If you do so and
so, Allah will throw you in the fire!" They don’t give us also the
beautiful aspects. Allah is loving. Allah is merciful with all human
beings, Muslim or not. He is pitiful and He is merciful. We don’t say
this. Many times, the mother is working and the child does something,
"Oh, if you do so, Allah will put you in jahannam." The child
hears of Allah’s punishment from a young age, but when the child does
something good, they forget. When we grow up, whatever our perception of
God was when we were little, will be with us all the time. That is why
many people who have become depressed, the reason for their depression is
that when they become young men and women, they may do something bad in
their lives, like fornication. Then, because of all the times they heard
of Allah’s punishment, they become afraid. They don’t know that if
they made istighfar (asked for forgiveness), that Allah will wipe out
their sins. We are not told that Allah will forgive all sins so easily. Therefore, knowledge is the most important
thing. If you develop wrong knowledge, then all your Islam will be spoilt.
You develop the knowledge of Allah, you know that Allah selects some
people to become His messengers. He gives them books that must be brought
down by angels. So we believe in Allah, His angels, His revealed books, we
believe in qadr (divine destiny). If Allah sees and knows everything, then
indeed He knows what will happen to you from the time you are born till
you go to your grave. If you tell me, how come Allah knows and He
is the one who makes qadr and death, and then He punishes us? Yes! A
teacher in school today, if he sees a careless boy, he knows that the boy
doesn’t come to class and when he does come, he doesn’t pay attention
and is cheeky. The teacher will tell him, "You will fail." At
the end of the year, the boy fails, but did the teacher make him fail? No!
The teacher knew he would fail because of his behaviour. Allah has given
us the freedom to choose. Allah does not force us to do bad things, this
comes from our intention. Although you may intend something bad, Allah may
prevent you the first time. But if you insist on doing the sin, then Allah
will let you do it and you will get your punishment. Or, you think about
doing something good, but you don’t do it, still Allah will give you a
reward, for only thinking to do something good. And when you do something
good, He gives ten times as much; if you do something bad, it is only
once. Therefore, Allah is generous and is not interested in punishing us. So if you develop this knowledge about
Allah, then you will know the importance of being good to other Muslims.
Now look at Shaykh Shadi, and the way he behaves lovingly to the young
people. He doesn’t tell them, "You are the only Muslims and
everybody else is kaafir." But if you meet some of these people, who
make societies and movements, and then think that their movement is the
only true movement. They think their movement is Islam and everybody
outside it is kaafir and this can lead to killing. Why is this? Because
they have developed the wrong information about their relationship with
Allah and other Muslims. This is very important to know: we can make
movements and societies, but we should know that we are not the only
Muslims. There are people outside who are better than us, whom we do not
even know. A person might walk in the street like a beggar or so and Allah
looks at him as being better than you, if you despise him. Have you heard of the Khawaarij? Their main
problem was that their information was wrong. They thought anybody who
committed a major sin was kaafir. If a man fornicates – kaafir, if he
drinks alcohol – kaafir. So they easily spoke about people as kaafir,
Mu’awiyah, ‘Ali…etc. Therefore, knowledge is what we call the
cognitive factor. Sometimes people have the knowledge, but
they put it in the deep-freeze. They say the shahaadah from a cold heart.
This is not right. You have to warm up these words, say them with feeling
and mean what you say about your love for Allah and Muhammad (s). Amongst
some groups in the Muslim world, they say, "Who is the Prophet? He is
a man who was given a message, he gave it and he died, that’s finished.
Don’t waste your time saying Allahumma salli ‘alaa sayyidina Muhammad.
Only when Muhammad is mentioned, then you say Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa
sallam, but don’t waste your time." Some people are like this, but
what is this? These are people who do not have true emotion. We, human beings, have a mind to know and
judge things, but also we have a heart. The heart that makes us afraid or
angry or anxious or makes us experience love, all of these are called
emotions. Love is an emotion, and it moves you. Psychologists cannot
define this inner feeling. So when you have the right knowledge, you must
warm it up with these feelings. This is the second factor: the feelings,
the heart (emotion). The third factor: if you have the knowledge
and it is warmed with your emotion, then you must do something — take
action. Look at the Qur’an, the ones who have îmân in their heart and
they do the good things. So you must see the practical aspect, in prayer,
in fasting, in being good to your own brothers and sisters; the good
aspect in being honest, in working hard for your community. This is the
‘amal, the action, the behaviour. These are three factors: the cognitive
(knowledge), the emotional (affective), and the behavioural, as classified
in psychology. According to psychology, these are the three factors that
make up an attitude. But, as Muslims we have a fourth one: the
spiritual, by which you feel and are conscious of Allah (swt) around you,
all the time. I’m talking psychology to you, but do you think I got this
from psychology? No, I got it from the Prophet (s). The Prophet (s) and his companions were
sitting in a simple room somewhere, when all of a sudden, a man came in.
He was wearing robes so white that the companions in Madinah were
surprised by its whiteness. He was very fair and handsome, with hair
extremely black and beautiful. He came directly to the Prophet and he sat
in front of him. His knees were touching the knees of the Prophet and he
put the palms of his hands over the thighs of the Prophet and then said:
"Oh Muhammad, tell me, what is iman?" Then the Prophet answered
him, "Iman is to believe in Allah (swt), His angels, His books, the
Hereafter (yawmil-aakhir), and to believe in destiny and fate (qadr)."
Then he said to the Prophet, "You said the truth." The companions were wondering why he asked
the Prophet (s) and then told him: "You said the truth." Then he
asked, "Tell me, Muhammad, what is Islam?" The Prophet said,
"Islam is to say the shahadah, to pray, to fast, to pay zakaah, to
make hajj when able." Here the Prophet (s) is talking about two
aspects, firstly the knowledge factor is the six pillars of iman (belief
in Allah, the Last Day, qadr, etc). Then he spoke about Islam, which is
the practical aspect (prayer, fasting, etc), what I have called the
behavioural. Then he asked him, "Tell me, what is ihsaan?" He
said, "Ihsaan is to worship Allah as though you see Him, because if
you don’t see Allah, then surely Allah sees you." This is the
spiritual aspect. What is remaining? The emotional or
affective, which we get from a number of the hadiths of the Prophet (s),
when he speaks about love or about animosity towards the enemies of Islam.
The Prophet (s) said: "Nobody’s îmân will be complete unless he
loves me, the Prophet, more than himself, more than his family and more
than all the people in the world.". Look at this beauty of the Arabs at the
time. They were really openhearted. We know whom the Prophet loved the
most. Somebody came and asked the Prophet, "Oh Prophet of Allah, who
is the person you love more than any other person?" The Prophet said
‘Aishah, his great wife. MaashaAllah, she was so knowledgable and such a
great woman. Then he said, "Who comes next to her?" and he said
her father, Abu Bakr. So we know, and it’s not something to conceal. But
nowadays, in the Arab world, in Lebanon, Morocco, we don’t talk about
it. I know one friend who went to ask his elderly brother, whose wife was
sitting on a chair when he came to ask, "Brother Hassan, do you love
Khadijah, your wife?" His brother responded, "Oh, you don’t
have manners, how can you ask such a silly question?" Of course! We
keep things inside, but this is not Islamic. We should be clear when we
love a person, tell them we love them, for the sake of Allah. So love is not knowledge. We don’t read a
book or solve a problem and at the end say the result, therefore, I love
so and so. No, it is something that comes from the heart. The Prophet (s)
told us that when Allah (swt) instructed Jibreel (a) to go and destroy a
certain village, the angel replied: "But in this village, there is
Shaykh so and so. He is a pious man." Allah (swt) responded:
"Start with him! His face never changed when he saw people doing bad
things against Allah and talking against Allah." His face did not
change - an emotion. If you see something that is wrong, you change it
with your hand, or your tongue, or if you cannot then you change it with
your heart and feelings. Some societies and countries bring up their
people to be emotional, they say the Iraqis and Sudanese are like this.
And some societies bring up their children to keep all their emotions
inside and not show them, like the Malays. You will see a Malay and not
know whether he is angry or happy - he will have the same face, not
expressing his feelings. The Prophet (s) once said to his
companions: "Would you like me to tell you something which is better
for you than spending gold and silver fisabilillah?" They said,
"Oh yes, Prophet of Allah, tell us!" He didn’t tell them at
once, but tried to motivate them further, saying, "Do you want me to
tell you something which is better for you in the eyes of your Lord than
to take your sword and fight your enemy?" They said, "Of course,
please tell us!" He said, "Remember Allah." Be conscious of
Allah (swt), this is the thing that can educate you. Go step by step, until you reach a level at
which Allah would love you, and when He loves you, He will become the legs
with which you walk, He becomes the arms with which you work, He becomes
the eyes with which you see and the ears with which you hear. Allah (swt)
said this in a hadith qudsi, but what does it mean? It means that Allah
(swt) will give you power and support with all these things, and this is
the stage when a person can actually ask Allah anything and Allah will do
it for him. This is the stage of the wali, the stage of
people who are like our great Muslim scholars and the companions. This is
the stage when Allah will break the laws of this earth for their sake.
Things that are strange, such as when the companions’ sticks lit up like
torches so they could see their way late at night. This is the stage when
the companion who was reading the Qur’an and he would see his horse
moving and neighing loudly, when he stops reading, the animal stops. Then
when he reads again, the horse begins again, so he opened the door and
went out, and saw lights going up to the heaven. He went and related this
to the Prophet (s) who told him that these were angels, who had heard him
reading the Qur’an and came to listen. This stage cannot be reached
except by ihsaan, to worship Allah as if you see Him, because if you
don’t see Him, He is seeing you all the time. Indeed, let us think about these these four aspects. To what extent have we completed them? We should have a balance, don’t just keep learning without your heart, like some of these dry-hearted fuqaha. Some of them are only interested in details, what would make the water impure or pure, and they don’t care about their hearts. And don’t be like the extreme sufis, who are only interested in their emotions, their heart, love and tasbeeh and they forget knowledge and action. So, be balanced and this will make you the right person for this age. And try to bring the message of Islam to the non-Muslims. Just change one person and it is better to you than the whole world and what it contains. Transcribed by Sr Anna Blazey, Sydney Dr. Malik Badri malik1932@hotmail.com A lecture presentation organised by the
Australian Society of Islamic Psychology and FAMSY (NSW) on 30 September
2002 at the Lakemba Masjid. SALAM Magazine, September-October 2002, http://www.famsy.com/salam/ |