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Practical Approaches to
Resolving Socio-Psychological Issues Aalia Sange Asalaamu
Alaikum to all. Word of a young sister’s suicide has
prompted the writing of this article.
Growing up in a fairly secluded Islamic community, I was very
shocked to learn of such a tragedy. Didn’t
suicides, murders, rapes, and other such atrocities happen to non-Muslims,
and never to people we associated with?
These ‘taboo’ events never occurred in our communities, and if
they did, they were certainly never discussed.
I finally have come to terms with the sad truth that
socio-psychological pressures and factors have the potential to affect
each and every one us. It is
how we handle these issues that determines our success and failure in this
world. Growing
up and experiencing life as a Muslim American provides some extremely
challenging and difficult hurdles. Sure,
all adolescents undergo some degree of confusion as they bridge the gap
between being dependent children, to coming into their own as adults.
However, the reality is that these ‘average’ issues may become
compounded as young Muslim Americans keep their Islamic values and morals
in check, and at the same time assimilate into some of the
economic/cultural/professional practices of mainstream society.
We can not drink, we may not date, and we should observe modesty in
all facets of our lives. These
issues are in definite, total conflict with the less-is-more,
bare-all/express-all attitude of the Western world. Societal
pressures demand that to be loved we must be thin,
blonde-haired/blue-eyed, and ultra- conscious of our appearances; we must
be around drinking and drugs to be ‘modern’; that we must push away
from our cultures and assimilate completely in order to find
success and happiness in this world.
Even pressures on another level (career choices, family pressures
etc.) can be challenging.
Young adults may feel overwhelmed by these pressures, leading to
feelings of helplessness, depression, and loss of control.
The
reason I am writing this letter is remind us (myself always included) that
there are several modes and methods of seeking assistance, which Muslims
must sometimes employ simultaneously.
The first of these can never be estimated, or successful conquering
of our worst demons will never be accomplished.
Our first source of therapy is our total and complete reliance on
our Ultimate Provider and Justice-Giver.
Being Muslim is awesome because we need no intercessor between
ourselves and the Master of the Universe.
ALLAH (SWT) is on-call for us 24/7!
In moments of despair and distress, with no preparation on our
parts, reciting a surah or reading a du’aa in a calm state-of-mind can
prove powerful. At the bare
minimum, it is a healthy outlet that helps to provide us peace, as we
downsize the most trying of situations and put them into perspective. Other
levels of Divine communication include praying 2 raka nafl at any time of
the day when we need a Listening Ear (save at noon or at midnight).
How convenient that ‘prayer time’ is not a prerequisite in
order to offer prayers! I try
remind myself from time to time that ALLAH (SWT) needs nothing from us,
but He has given us so many modes of reaching out to Him, which He
eagerly, longingly accepts out of His love for us!
How humbling… Offering regular tahajud prayer in the prescribed early
morning hours is such a powerful form of therapy.
This form of worship requires more effort and commitment, but its
merits can not be understated. With
the above forms of therapy in place, we need to use God-given intellect
and rationality to seek other sources when necessary.
Following old-wives’ tales, relying on superstitions, and wearing
amulets for protection are practices that spiritual Muslims often falsely
rely on. There are
professionals who are properly trained and educated to help us deal with
those life’s events which are less than ideal.
The audience of this article is educated and intellectual.
Appeal to that intellect by seeking the proper forms of therapy
when they are necessary. There is no harm and no shame in doing so.
If you have relationships that need outside intervention, seek the
assistance of a well-trained therapist (there may even be Islamic
counselors- marriage and others- in your area!)
We should never feel like outcasts or paranormal individuals if we
choose to seek the services provided by trained individuals.
In addition to these, speaking with an Islamic leader, or a
spiritual brother or sister whom we can trust are highly profitable
experiences. Bottom
line is, there is no life without hills, bumps, and roadblocks.
We should welcome these, because they afford us the opportunity to
cleanse our souls, and to strengthen our characters and our hearts.
I realize this is all easier-said-than-done, but I remind myself
(foremost) that with challenges, ALLAH (SWT) has provided us with tools in
order to overcome, or at least to handle, them.
Everything is laid out to us for a reason, sometimes not within our
realm of understanding. Just
try to remember the many forms of ‘therapy’ in times of trial. God
bless!
Aalia Sange has a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. She also taken graduate courses in Clinical Counseling from the Citadel. She is currently working in Human Resources, and has been active in employee relations and counseling. She can be contacted at asange786@aol.com
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