What do you mean?
How can
there be Sacred Sex in Islam?
peNkaLai
kâtalikkirên
Exactly how Islam teaches sacred sex is a
very subtle matter to discuss. Allah and His Messenger treated the subject
with exquisite delicacy and dropped a few hints, trusting that sensitive
souls would fill in the rest.
Mainly what I have been shown of this has
come through direct witnessing, "taste" (dhawq) as Sufis call
it. Try just being still and looking in each other’s eyes and
meditating.... The Qur’ân says you should appreciate Allah’s favors
and graces.... Contemplate what it means to really appreciate.
"The approach to your wives: they are
your garments and ye are their garments" (Qur’ân 2:187). Our
clothing is in intimate embrace of our naked bodies. This is symbolic
language suggestive of men and women interpenetrating one another’s
inner being. "The approach to your wives" means sexual
intercourse.
"Your wives are a tilth unto you, so
go unto your tilth when or how you will; but do some good act for your
souls beforehand; and fear Allah, and know that ye are to meet Him, and
give good tidings to those who believe." (2:223)
A. Yusuf Ali comments on this verse:
"Note how the most sensuous matters are discussed frankly, and
immediately taken up into the loftiest regions of spiritual
fulfillment."
This beautiful opening is offered for any
whose hearts are pure and loving: to be "immediately taken up into
the loftiest regions of spiritual fulfillment."
The inner meaning of the first part of the
verse leads directly into the inner meaning of the rest of it.
The whole point of sacred sex, in Islam as
in other traditions, is that to make love with your consciousness focused
the right way leads higher to supremely fulfilling spiritual taste and
presence. That is what this verse is saying quite plainly.
This verse (2:223) is in the most
beautiful, clear and elegant Arabic style in the original:
nisâ’ukum harthun lakum fa-’tû
harthakum annâ shi’tum wa-qaddimû li-anfusikum wa-ttaqû Allâha
wa-‘lamû annakum mulâqûhu wa-bashshir al-mu’minîn
Here Allah is telling us to prepare
ourselves spiritually before approaching the sacred erotic sanctuary.
That’s what "qaddimû li-anfusikum" really means.
The next thing is to remain with focused
consciousness during the act. This is exactly what is meant by the phrase
"ittaqû Allâh": keep your consciousness focused on Allah. The
usual translations say "fear God," but in this context that
could be misleading. The real inner meaning of the verb is to have sharply
focused consciousness.
And the blissful result is to go to meet
Allah—so "give glad tidings to the believers"! When you
participate in sacred sex you don’t need any explanation of "glad
tidings"!
The Prophet, peace be upon him, taught that
when husband and wife look in each other’s eyes with love, their sins
are forgiven. When they hold hands, good deeds are recorded for them. When
they do sex, they are surrounded by praying angels. Read this for the
inner spiritual significance. When the gift of these blessings is given
you, if you have the insight to open your heart to the spiritual
dimension, it means that you’re in the immediate presence of something
holy and wonderful.
In other hadiths, the Prophet upheld
women’s equal right to sexual pleasure. He instructed men to begin with
foreplay and tenderness, and told them to continue long enough to ensure
that the women’s pleasure is fulfilled.
The Prophet taught that husbands and wives
are given rewards for doing sex together. Some of the Companions were
incredulous and asked how Allah could reward people for doing something
they enjoy anyway. Then the Prophet emphasized that the reward was for
doing it lawfully (within marriage) instead of illicitly. He adjusted his
gentle, subtle spiritual eroticism, putting it in terms for the
legally-minded . . . leaving his earlier statement to stand, however, for
those who can read between the lines.
What can we understand this hadith as
meaning? The rewards are in the future life, in Paradise? Certainly it
wouldn’t be wrong to take it that way . . . but . . . as you know, Sufis
are concerned with living the blessings of closeness to Allah in the here
and now, not only after death. The rewards that the Prophet promised for
sacred sex are immediate and present for you . . . see with the eye of the
heart.
In Muhyî al-Dîn ibn al-‘Arabî’s
classic book 'Fusûs al-hikam' (Bezels of Wisdom), the last bezel is on
the wisdom of Prophet Muhammad when he said "Three things from your
world have been made beloved to me: women, and perfume, and prayer the
comfort of my eyes." For Man, the vision of God can be seen in Woman:
"the most complete and perfect contemplation of Reality". But
it’s only words unless you find the way to put it into practice. Ibn
al-‘Arabî also wrote a book of erotic poetry titled 'Tarjumân al-ashwâq'
(The Interpreter of Desires) which has meaning on both the erotic level
and the spiritual level at once.
This wisdom has been passed down mainly not
through writing or open discussion, but very quietly. The poetry of
spiritualized Eros was passed along through the courtly love songs of the troubadours
and the deliberately veiled symbolism of the alchemists. People have been
persecuted and killed for revealing these things openly.
But all this is just words unless you put
it into practice. When you approach the sacredness of sex with a pure,
loving heart, there is no limit to the spiritual gifts Allah will shower
on you. I just think it’s enough to note that the Prophet, peace be upon
him, said plainly that he approved of the spirituality of sex, and it’s
up to us to take it from there.

with permission from the author:
http://www.penkatali.org/
contact info: penkatali@yahoo.com
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