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| See the Big Picture: 4.34-35 Uzma Mazhar © 2003 Verse 4.34 seems to hang like a black cloud over the status of women in Islam. It has been misinterpreted, misunderstood, misused, twisted, distorted & abused to justify the misogynist attitudes that seem to pervade the issue of women, despite the unprecedented liberation and uplifting that Islam accorded women. To better understand this verse within the context of the message of the Quran and the philosophy of Islām, one needs to look at some critical principles and the overall philosophy of Islām, only from within that big picture can we get an understanding of what the verse means. For more detailed definitions of words that seem to cause some of this confusion, check Defining Critical Words 4.34 & Translations of 4.34-35 Points to consider: 1. The Prophet (saw) was not assigned the role of personal 'caretaker' or 'moral supervisor' of people's actions. He was not accountable for their deeds. He conveyed the message and encouraged them to follow according to their own level of faith and commitment; from a simple bedouin who was willing to follow only the minimum requirements of Islam to those who devoted every aspect of their being, their lives and their properties. 2. Consider the Qurānic
ayāt that
say that nobody will be held accountable for another's deeds/faith, etc. How does one jump from this to making a husband responsible and accountable for his wife's faith and morality? Keeping in mind that if one is responsible for something, they will also be held accountable for it. The freedom to choose and a willingness to follow your religion and beliefs is upheld by the Qur'ān in every situation and condition, for each and every individual, male or female. 3.
There is no compulsion in religion. If one is forced to follow a religion,
it implies one is unwilling and when we are unwilling but do it to please
someone else, ie: without sincerity; we are nothing but hypocrites. Since
nobody is to be forced to comply to the dictates of religion, or for that
matter, to any aspect of life... to think that men have been given the
power and 'duty' to enforce piety or check the
behaviors of women is a little too contrived for convenience. There
are no if, ands or buts about this injunction, it is crystal clear...
under no circumstances can one person coerce, force or impose their views,
beliefs or opinions on another human being. Basic premise to
understand here is that.. whenever something is enforced on a person it
becomes 'zulm' or abuse, and oppression is forbidden in Islām. When
Allāh has not taken away our choice, how can any human being even dare to
assume that they can? There are enough
incidences from hadith that allow women to take financial matters in their own hands
when the men act irresponsibly or miserly, to the right of divorcing such
men. As well as permission to leave and divorce a husband who is not
responsible or abusive. Sūrah ar Rum 30.21 Sūrah al Baqarah 2.187 Sūrah al Nisa 4.19 Sūrah al Nisa 4.1 8. The
Prophet (saw) was the living Qurān
he
was the exemplar... he repeatedly told men to treat their wives with love,
affection and respect; and told them that they could not hit their wives when cases
of marital discord were brought to him... was he ignoring this verse or
was he really telling us what it actually means?
9. When Islām
allows divorce, and the wife is such a disgrace to the husband, why is he
not exercising his right to divorce her?
Granted divorce is the most hated act in the sight of God,
accepting this verse as is implies that violence toward women is an acceptable alternative to
divorce
especially when God has repeatedly expressed dislike for violence and
oppression; and has given women the right to divorce? Sūrah Al-Baqarah 2. 230 Sūrah Al-Baqarah 2. 231 Sūrah An Nisa 4:19 10.
Does being a male automatically imply that he is an upright, moral
being? Or is being a male
enough to imply intelligence and wisdom, or that he will be fair and just.
Does being a male automatically make him knowledgeable about Islam such
that he can guide his wife? Sūrah
al Baqarah 2.44 11.
What constitutes this preference? The verse reads: "... men have a degree over women" (2:228). On the average, men do have an edge over women in terms of physical strength. Needless to say, this excludes a broad range of exceptions, and is true only in a statistical sense. The same verse notes that "some are better than others," AND does not assign gender to this latter expression. Indeed, there are untold numbers of women who are superior to men in knowledge, in work, and in physical strength. 12.
Then there are numerous
verses that directly command people to not be violent, to curb their
anger, to not oppress anyone... and to assume that Allah allowed men to
hit their wives is totally contradictory to this message. Sūrah ar Rum 30.21 There are numerous ahādīth that admonish men about hitting their wife and then later wanting to be intimate with her, not to mention those that direct men to be gentle, kind and considerate toward women. 13. Does a woman lose her right to self-determination after she gets married? If the husband is the 'maintainer of her affairs', does she lose her rights in those affairs? Considering that a woman keeps her birth name even after marriage, has the right to property, education and work; her right to being an independent being is never compromised by Islam.
I believe that these
words have been over-extended to imply 'control' which is misleading, as
Islam does not give total power to any one person over another.
Even the Prophet (saw) was told that his role was to convey the
message of Islam and not to be the caretaker of the people's actions.
So for men to be given this 'role' over their wives seems to be
far-fetched. Furthermore, Islam has systematically denounced the control of one man over another, specifically in abolishing slavery, in giving rights to women and children, permission to disobey parents if they ask one to do something that goes against the teaching of God, the permission to disobey the ruler if he is despotic and unfair, to escape from abusive and tyrannical regimes/conditions and most importantly the crystal clear message that the only one to be feared and submitted to is God alone. Misinterpreting the message: How is it possible that it is being said that men can beat their wife and the message following right after it says don't harm them? Personally, I believe these verses are about checking the attitude of those men who become abusive when in conflict with their wives. To me, it seems to tell men to go through rational and sequential ways of dealing with a conflict and to curb their violent tendency.. it is literally outlining steps they need to take to resolve conflicts. Most rational men do not resort to violence, regardless of the nature of the conflict. If an abusive man can go through these steps to control his anger the problem would be resolved long before such men resort to violence. Can violent men do that? If you read
the following verse, this premise makes the most sense. Verse 4.35
addresses the next step in the situation of marital discord. It
clearly says to assign arbiters from both sides and try to resolve the
differences. The preceding verse (4.34) fits in.. it is addressing the
men and outlining for THEM the steps THEY need to take when THEY fear
discord. The interesting thing is that if this verse is understood as permission for husbands to hit their wives, they seem to forget verse 4.128 directed at women who fear abuse by men that allows women to leave such men. If the woman is recalcitrant, what will stop her from using the husband's hitting as reason enough to leave him? So is one verse contradicting another? No... the only rational and logical way of understanding this verse is that it is actually admonishing men to control themselves, it is not giving them carte blanche to hit women when women don't 'obey' them. Sūrah al Nisa 4.128 Contact Info: Uzma Mazhar UzmaMazhar@hotmail.com |