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| Obedience in 'The Taming of
the Shrew': An Islamic Perspective Rasha El-Haggan English Major at University of Maryland Baltimore County Copyrighted 1998 And among his signs is this, that He
created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in
tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your
(hearts); Verily in that are signs for those who reflect (Qur’an, 30:21) It is He who created you from a single
person and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with
her (in love0. When they are united, she bears a light burden and carries
it about (unnoticed). When she grows heavy, they both pray to Allah, their
Lord (saying) "If you give us a goodly child, we vow we shall (ever)
be grateful. (Qur’an 7:189) Islam, Christianity, and Judaism since
their inception have had a profound impact on male-female relationships.
All three faiths have set the standards on the roles of wives towards
husbands, husbands towards wives, and both towards their respective
families. All seem to agree that in a marriage the wife must obey her
husband. William Shakespeare in his play, The Taming
Of The Shrew, explores this concept of obeying one’s husband within the
husband/wife relationship. The play challenges our nowadays feminine
attitude towards the marital vows of "honor and obey." Looking
at the play from a strictly religions standpoint, one may see Katherine as
a shrewish wife with a strong need to be tamed. Although a strong
Christian presence serves as a backdrop to the play, it would be
interesting to explore the play from the view of other religions, in
particular from an Islamic perspective. Viewed from this angle, one
discovers that Petruchio uses many devices to ensure the obedience of
Katherine. Although his ends might be Islamically feasible, his means are
very un-Islamic. First, Petruchio realizes that to have a
successful marriage, he needs Kate to fully obey his every command.
Religions all around the world have struggled with this concept. Secular
feminine organizations have tried their best to erase any concept of
"obeying thy husband" from existence, thinking the concept is
ancient and bias when in actuality it has high social merit. In Islam a
husband is morally and religiously obligated by God to care for his wife
financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Prophet Muhammad
(PBUH), said in a hadith that "All of you are caretakers, one of the
other. A man is the caretaker of those under his care and a woman is the
caretaker of those under her care." Since a man is responsible for
the protection, happiness, and maintenance of his wife, God has given him
a degree of power over his wife. Otherwise, it would be similar to voting
for a president, but not giving him the rights to rule a country. God says in the Qur’an: The wives rights
(with regards to their husbands) are equal to the (husband’s) rights
with regard to them, although men have a degree (of advantage) over them.
Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise. (Qur’an 2:228) Although this verse from Surat Al-Baqara
might sound discriminating towards women at first glance, it is in fact
full of hidden wisdom. For example, living in today’s society, can one
imagine doing anything without the supervision of a leader? Even our
teachers in high school always emphasized the importance of leaders and
leadership. In the workforce, every company has a president, every project
has a project manager, and every division has a director. Globally, every
school has a principal, every city has a mayor, every state has a
governor, and every country has a president. Why should marriage be any
different? In fact, since marriage is a much important project, the
emphasis on leadership should be greater. Also, since in an Islamic marriage a man
has the bigger responsibility of providing for the family financially,
mentally, physically, emotionally, and morally, he is in front of God the
leader of the relationship. Keeping that in mind, the purpose of obedience
in the relationship is to keep the family unit running as smoothly as
possible. The man has been given the right to be obeyed because he is the
leader and not because he is superior. If a leader is not obeyed, his
leadership will become invalid. Imagine a king or a teacher or a parent
without the necessary authority that has been entrusted to them. Obedience also does not mean blind
obedience. It is subject to conditions. For instance, it is required only
if what is asked from the wife is within the permissible categories of
action. It also must be maintained only with regard to matters that fall
under the husband’s rights (i.e the wife must be faithful, trustworthy,
and honest). Obeying one’s husband in no way demeans the role of the
wife. Her role is as important. She is the center of the family and if she
is weak, the family will crumble. Going back to our play, Petruchio had
every right to demand Kate’s obedience as long as she demanded his
protection and respect. Thus, Shakespeare’s emphasis on Kate obeying
Petruchio agrees partially with the Islamic perspective on the subject. Personally, although I am a Muslim woman, I
have found it very hard to simply obey my husband, especially when I’m
in disagreement with him. I have found myself repeatedly more
knowledgeable when it comes to matters of the American society, especially
since his experience is limited to Egyptian and Australian societies. At
many times I find myself arguing with him about many of his decisions.
Fortunately, Islam has made allowances for cases such as I. God commands
the husband to consult his wife in all matters. In fact, Prophet Muhammad
(PBUH) was known to consult Aisha, his wife, in matters of the state and
matters of their own marriage. Although obeying another human might be
hard for some people, it is essential. If there was ever a ship with two
captains it would inevitably sink, for one captain would steer it West
while the other steers it East. Because Petruchio had the right to demand
Kate’s obedience, he also had obligations to treat her with respect.
Unfortunately, Petruchio did no such thing. He not only humiliated Kate in
front of her peers and servants, but he also undermined her intelligence.
For example, after their wedding ceremony, Petruchio demands that his wife
come home with him without even allowing her to enjoy her own wedding
celebrations. Even after she "entreats" (Act III, Scene II, Line
198) him, he refuses, "But for my bonny Kate, she must with me"
(Act III, Scene II, Line 226). Islamically this behavior is frowned upon.
A husband should try his best to indulge his wife especially on her
wedding day. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) indulged his wife, Aisha, at all
times, especially when there were festivities involved. In a hadith, Aisha
reportedly heard an Abyssinian entertainment team playing outside their
house, the Prophet said to Aisha, "Would you like to see them?"
When she agreed, he sent for them and they came and performed in front of
his door. The Prophet stretched his hand, putting his palm on the open
door and letting Aisha's chin rest on his arm so that she could see
comfortably. A while later the Prophet asked Aisha, "Enough?"
She said, "Silence!" Another while later he asked,
"Enough?" and the answer was again, "Silence!" But
when he asked her for the third time, "Enough?" she agreed,
"Yes," and the team went away on a gesture from the Prophet.
Petruchio, instead of indulging his wife, he chose to abuse his power and
take Kate away from her festivities. Furthermore, Petruchio later abused Kate by
not allowing her to eat and by turning the servants against her. Although
I realize that Petruchio was trying to tame Kate, he need not treat her
with disrespect. Islamically, the Prophet told us that "The most
perfect belief is that of those who are best-mannered and most tender with
their wives" and that "Surely God does not love a rough person
who is boastful, and rude to his wife." A husband must be kind,
understanding and forgiving, and must treat his wife in a tender and
loving manner. He not only should avoid hurting her but also should bear
with her if she ever does something disagreeable. The Qur’an reads:
"and treat them [women] kindly" (Qur’an 5:19). And the Prophet
(PBUH) used to say "Whoever of you whose wife behaves in a
disagreeable manner and he responds by kindness and patience, God will
give him rewards as much as Job will be given for his patience." Moreover, patient behavior was the practice
of the Prophet, even when his wife dared to address him harshly. Once his
mother-in-law saw her daughter strike him with her fist on his noble
chest. When the enraged mother-in-law began to reproach her daughter, the
Prophet smilingly said, "Leave her alone; they do worse than
that." And once Abu Bakr, his father-in-law, was invited to settle
some misunderstanding between him and Aisha. The Prophet said to her,
"Will you speak, or shall I speak?" Aisha said, "You speak,
but do not say except the truth." Abu Bakr was so outraged that he
immediately struck her severely, forcing her to run and seek protection
behind the back of the Prophet. Abu Bakr said, "O you the enemy of
herself! Does the Messenger of God say but the truth?" The Prophet
said, "O Abu Bakr, we did not invite you for this [harsh] dealing
with Aisha, nor did we anticipate it." Returning to our play, had what Petruchio
did to Kate been at all real, he would not have gotten the same results
that Shakespeare shows in the play. In fact, only if the husband is
considerate, respectful, and caring does a wife appreciate him and obey
him. In conclusion, although Petruchio’s
finally manages to tame Kate in the context of the play, he would not have
been as successful in real life. With women nowadays, one needs to be
considerate, romantic, and loving. Personally, if my husband treated me
the same way Petruchio treated Kate, I would have probably went to my
father’s house and divorced my husband. Marriage is a project. It is a
sacred tradition that needs careful attention. Both man and wife have
obligations that need to be met. As the leader, the man needs to start off
with the right steps and in turn, the wife will supply him with obedience,
respect, and love. Kate explains it best at the end of the play when she
says: Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy
keeper,
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