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| A Commentary on The Qur'an
4:34 Dr. Ahmad Shafaat Of all the Qur'anic passages about men and
women perhaps the one most often misunderstood or misused by both Muslims
and non-Muslims is verse 34 of Surah an-Nisa. The English translation of
this verse reads as follows: "Men are (meant to be righteous and
kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and
because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn)
righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has
(willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband). As for
those (women) on whose part you fear ill-will and nasty conduct, admonish
them (first), (next) separate them in beds (and last) beat them. But if
they obey you, then seek nothing against them. Behold, God is most high
and great. (4:34) The purpose of this article is to give a
detailed commentary on the verse in order to make it better understood. The verse begins with the statement that
"men are qawwamun over women". The root of the key word,
qawwamun (pl. of qawwam), is qama which means "to stand or to make
something stand or to establish something". It is often used in the
Holy Qur'an in the sense of establishing religion or prayer. A related
word is qa'im which means "one who stands or makes something
stand". Qawwam is an intensive form of qa'im and has a sense of
continuity in the action involved. So it means one who is continuously
standing over something (as, for example, a guard or caretaker) or one who
is continuously making something stand, i.e. is maintaining it. In the
Qur'anic usage of qawwam and related words there is almost always present
an idea of propriety. For example, aqamah of salah is not only praying but
also praying properly. The function of qawwam is also understood in the
Qur'an to be characterized by fairness. Thus in 4:134 and 5:8, the only
other passages in the Qur'an where the word is used, the believers are
told: "O you who believe! Be qawwamin with
fairness..." "O you who believe! Be qawwamin for
God as witnesses to fairness..." Thus to be a qawwam over something or
someone is to guard, maintain or take care of that something or someone in
a proper and fair manner. If there is any single word in English that can
convey the meaning of the word as used in the present word it is probably
the one used by Muhammad Pickthal, namely, guardian. After stating that men are qawwamun over
women the verse goes on to say why this is so. Two reasons are given: 1) "Because God has favoured some of
them more than others". It is not explicitly stated here who is
favoured more than whom but in view of the context it is probable that men
are understood in some way to be favoured more than women. But in what
way? Again no answer is given in the verse under consideration or
elsewhere in the Qur'an. But we can justifiably take the reference to
physical strength and energy in which men generally excel women and which
enables men to guard women against some of the dangers to which they may
be exposed in society and to take care of some of their needs. From the statement that God has favoured
men more than women in some ways we should not conclude, as many careless
readers of the Qur'an do, that Islam views men superior to women. For this
statement does not exclude the possibility that in some other ways women
may be favoured more than men. Indeed observation shows that women are in
general more patient, caring and have a more developed intuition than men. Moreover, the Holy Qur'an makes it clear
that while there are many favours of God that He bestows on His creatures
in different measures, there is only one favour which determines the
superiority of one member of the human species over another and that is
taqwa or God consciousness. Thus wealth, strength, health, intelligence,
position, education, etc. are all favours of God but we cannot say that a
wealthier person is superior to a poorer person, a stronger person is
superior is superior to a physically feeble person and so on. we can say
only that a more muttaqi person is superior to a less muttaqi person. In
the words of the Holy Qur'an: "The nobler among you in the sight of
God is the more muttaqi (righteous) among you." (49:13) Taqwa (righteousness, God consciousness) is
that divine favour of God on which the right use of all other favours of
God depends. The more of this quality of taqwa a person has the more the
other favours of God benefit him. Thus the fact that man has been favoured in
some ways more than woman does not automatically make him superior to her.
It is only when his taqwa is more than hers that he can from the Qur'anic
point of view be considered superior to her. And when a person's taqwa
increases to a worthwhile level the question of his superiority does not
interest him, for he or she realizes that all praises are due to God. 2) The first reason then why men are
qawwamun over women is their physical ability to protect women. The second
is that "they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth." Although
the Holy Qur'an permits women to earn and own wealth, it expects that men
will generally be able to earn more than women because of the natural
differences between them. This means that they will generally be
responsible for the economic needs of women and this responsibility also
makes them qawwamun. In thinking of men as qawwamun over women
we should not limit their role to mere protectors and providers. Properly
taking care of women requires more than ensuring their physical security
and providing food and shelter. It also requires looking after their
psychological and emotional needs which can be summed up in terms of the
need for love (30:21). Thus man's role in the relationship between men and
women (as husbands and wives) generally consists of three things:
protecting the woman, looking after her economic needs and giving her
love. What is the woman's role in this
relationship? A brief statement follows about this in the verse: "The righteous women are devout (qanitat)
and guard what Allah has willed to be guarded even though out of
sight." Qanit means one who is devoted to someone
and out of love and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present
verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used of
both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of
devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in one place it is God and
His Messenger. For this reason qanitat may simply mean "devoted to
God". In view of the context, the idea of devotion and obedience to
the husband may also be read into the word. Since men are qawwamun over their wives,
they must have some authority to make decisions, for a person cannot be an
effective guardian or maintainer of someone without having some decision
making authority. And whenever there is legitimate decision-making
authority on one side, there is some necessity of obedience from the
other. In Hadith there are many traditions which encourage women to be
obedient to their husbands. Some of these traditions are no doubt forged,
being attempts by later Muslims to subjugate their women (1), but others
look authentic (2). Thus the Qur'an and Hadith do teach that women should
obey their husbands. But this "should" is not a
"should" of moral or religious obligation. The Qur'an and
authentic ahadith do not command women to be obedient to their husbands,
so that it is not a sin on their part if they sometime do not listen to
their husbands. The Qur'an and Hadith consider obedience to the husband as
simply a desirable quality of the wife. In connection with the decision-making
authority of the husband and the wife's obedience to him, the following
further points should also be noted: i) The "authority" on the husband should not be thought of in terms of the authority of a ruler or a boss. The very personal nature of the relationship between husband and wife and the love and affection which must characterize that relationship (30:21) should be reflected in the way the husband exercises his authority. In particular, he should always fully take into account her feelings on every matter. In Islam, even rulers and bosses are ordered to take into account the views of those in their charge; in case of husbands this is all the more necessary and natural. Likewise, the obedience of the wife to the husband should also reflect the personal and tender nature of their relationship. In particular, it should not be a forced obedience but rather should come naturally out of her love and respect for the husband. ii) If a wife cannot sufficiently love and
respect the husband to give him the obedience he expects, then she can, if
she so chooses, seek a divorce which will necessarily be granted to her. iii) The decision-making
"authority" of the husband should be restricted to the area of
responsibility (i.e. dealings with the society at large, family budget,
etc.) and should not become all-pervasive. iv) The obedience of the wife to the husband, like all obedience in Islam, is only in what is right and proper. The wife can and indeed should disobey any improper, un-Islamic, command of the husband, e.g., if he commands her not to wear hijab. "Guarding what God has (willed to be)
guarded" means guarding the husband's honour and property as well as
wife's own loyalty towards him. "Even though out of sight" (li
al-ghayb) refers to the husband's honour and property when he is absent as
well as to the wife's secret feelings and thoughts which the husband
cannot perceive even if he is present. Thus in return for love, security
and financial support the husbands should give their wives, righteous
wives should give their husbands love, loyalty and obedience and look
after their interests with complete faithfulness. This, however, describes an ideal
situation: a strong loving husband taking full care of the wife and the
wife giving him her faithful love, obedience and support. In this
situation the couple needs no marriage laws. The husband, for example,
does not need to be told to take care of the wife, for it comes naturally
out of his love for her. Likewise, the wife does not need to be told to
obey her husband and to be faithful to him because all this is the natural
result of the love and respect she has for him. It is noteworthy that up
to this point the Qur'anic verse does not give any commands. It rather
uses a descriptive language: "men are qawwamun...",
"righteous women are qanitat...". In other words, the verse
simply describes the relationship between husband and wife as nature has
meant it to be. Unfortunately, in a great many cases the
relationship between husband and wife, because of weaknesses on one or
both sides, falls short of the ideal described above. In many cases, the
husband and wife successfully make some adjustments between themselves. In
many other cases, however, an adjustment becomes difficult. The remaining
part of the verse under consideration concerns such cases. "As for those women on whose part you
fear nushuz..." Before we go any further with the translation, it is
important to explain the meaning of the key word nushuz. The literal
meaning of the word is "rebellion". But rebellion against whom
and in what sense? We should certainly not think of this in terms the
rebellion of the ruled against a ruler in a sultanate or dictatorship and
conclude that it consists of the wife disobeying some of the husband's
commands. This is because the same word nushuz is used in case of a
husband in verse 128 of the same surah 4, where it is said: "If a
woman fears nushuz on her husband's part..." So nushuz is something
that can be feared by the husband on the wife's part or by the wife on her
husband's part. It cannot therefore be understood in terms of the
ruler-ruled relationship. To correctly understand the meaning of the word,
it must be noted that both in the verse under consideration and in verse
128 the reference to nushuz is followed by a reference to the break-up of
the marriage (see vv. 35, 130). If this context is kept in mind, then it
becomes evident that nushuz means the type of behaviour on the part of the
husband or the wife which is so disturbing for the other that their living
together becomes difficult. Now the behaviour of a marriage partner can
become disturbing for the other in one of the following two ways: 1) There is no ill-will on the part of the offending party. It is simply because of some incompatibility between the two or the failure on the part of one to understand the other that one of them finds some aspect of the other's behaviour disturbing. 2) One partner knowingly behaves or continues to behave in a way which seriously disturbs the other partner. In this case there is obviously an ill-will on the part of the first partner towards the second. Nushuz is only this second type of
behaviour, for only a deliberate ill-conduct based on ill-will can be
described as "rebellion". There is also a measure of relativeness
about nushuz in the sense that what constitutes nushuz in the eyes of one
person may not be so viewed by another. For this reason, the judgment that
one's spouse has been guilty of nushuz is partly a subjective and personal
one. That is why the verse says: "If you fear nushuz..." instead
of for example, "if you find nushuz...". In the Holy Qur'an
"fearing" signifies subjective but certain, knowledge or
judgment about something. In short, nushuz is a behaviour on the part
of one marriage partner which comes out of ill-will and seriously disturbs
the other partner. Let us now proceed further with the verse
and see what does it suggest in case of "those women on whose part
you fear nushuz".(3) Three steps are recommended: "Admonish them
(first), (next) separate them in beds (and last) beat them." When there is no ill-will on the part of
the wife towards the husband and he finds her behaviour hard to live with,
he can, of course, divorce her. But marriage difficulties often start with
a stage when neither partner really wants a break-up of the marriage and
yet, at least from the point of view of one of the partners, the situation
is unacceptable. The three steps suggested in the verse pertain to such
circumstances. "Admonish them". In this step the
husband can say a great variety of things to the wife. He can bring to her
attention some relevant teachings from the Qur'an and Hadith. He can
remind her of the adverse effects of a possible break-up of marriage on
all concerned - she herself, the children, if any, and he himself. Such
admonition however, will be effective only if the husband has a good
character, at least in comparison with the wife. Otherwise, the wife can
say to him, either in her heart or aloud, "look who is talking". The husband must practice what he preaches
to his wife, for the Qur'an condemns preaching to others what we do not
practice ourselves (2:44). "Separate them in beds". There is
a lot that a husband can achieve by talking to the wife in the right way.
But if he fails, he should try separating the wife in bed and take other
steps that go with such an action, e.g. avoiding to talk to her. If there
had ever been any love between the two, this separation while living
together, may help that love to return or come to the forefront. The wife
may, as a result, become more willing to change her ways and the husband
too may begin to see some of the things in a different light. For this
suggestion of separation to work it is clear that the husband should have
sufficient control over his sexual urges. For, otherwise he may be driven
to end the separation in bed before it had any positive effect on the
wife. "Beat them". If even separation
fails to work, then it is suggested that men use beating. To this
suggestion of the Holy Qur'an there have been two extreme reactions on the
part of some Muslims. The first reaction is being apologetic or ashamed of
the suggestion. The second is to use it as a justification for indulging
in habitual wife battering. Needless to say that both these reactions are
wrong. The Quran as we believe is the word of God and is thus every word
in it is full of wisdom and love. To be apologetic about any part of the
Quran is to lack both knowledge and faith. As for the second response, the
suggestion to use beating is made specifically to deal with nushuz on the
part of the wife, that is, to deal with her deliberately nasty behaviour
that poses a threat to the marriage. Beating is to be done after due
admonition and separation in beds and therefore by husbands who have some
moral standards and have sufficient control over their sexual passions.
Moreover, this beating is not to go on and on but is to be tried as a last
step to save the marriage. Once it is clear that it is not working it is
to be abandoned in favour of some other steps involving relatives of the
husband and the wife mentioned in the next verse (4:35). There is
therefore, absolutely no license here for the type of regular and
continual wife beating that goes on in some homes, where each time the
husband is angry with his wife or with someone else he turns against her
and beats her up. In most such cases, the husband has no moral superiority
over the wife: the only rule of Shariah that he cares about is this
suggestion about beating. He also does not have the kind of control over
his sexual passions needed to separate the wife in bed and often beats her
the day before or the day after making love to her, an action specifically
condemned by the Prophet. (4) In regard to the suggestion about beating,
the following further points should also be noted: a) According to some traditions the Prophet
said in his famous and well-attended speech on the occasion of his
farewell pilgrimage that the beating done according to the present verse
should be ghayr mubarrih, i.e. in such a way that it should not cause
injury, bruise or serious hurt. On this basis some scholars like Tabari
and Razi say even that it should be largely symbolic and should be
administered "with a folded scarf" or "with a miswak or
some such thing". However, to be effective in its purpose of shaking
the wife out of her nasty mood it is important that it should provide an
energetic demonstration of the anger, frustration and love of the husband.
In other words, it should neither seriously hurt the wife nor reduce it to
a set of meaningless motions devoid of emotions. b) The wife has no religious obligation to
take the beating. She can ask for and get divorce any time. The suggestion
applies only in the case when the husband is seriously disturbed by a
prolonged nasty behaviour on the part of the wife but neither he nor the
wife is as yet seriously thinking of breaking up. c) If the husband beats a wife without
respecting the limits set down by the Quran and Hadith, then she can take
him to court and if ruled in favor has the right to apply the law of
retaliation and beat the husband as he beat her. d) Some fuqaha (Muslim jurists) are of the
opinion that beating is permissible but not advisable. They base their
view on the fact that the Prophet intensely disliked the action. But to
say that beating is only permissible but never advisable is to say that
there is never any good in it but the husband can nevertheless resort to
it if he wants to; in other words he can beat up his wife without any good
reason. This, however, is a view that cannot possibly be attributed to the
Book of God. We can expect the Holy Qur'an to mention beating only if
there was some wisdom in that mention. Now there are two possible points
of wisdom in the mention. First, the beating done within the limits
defined by the Qur'an may indeed bring the husband and wife to some kind
of understanding. This is not because of the pain involved, which in any
case cannot be too much if the guidance in the Quran and Hadith are to be
observed. Rather, the husband and wife may come closer together after
beating because of the emotions involved. The wife may experience the
depth of hurt and disturbance her nushuz is causing and if there is any
love left among them may decide for that reason to change her conduct. It
seems from observations of human behaviour know that a show of male
physical energy can sometimes bring a woman out of a prolonged bad mood
(5) even though this energy may be seemingly directed against her in the
form of angry words or a slap, provided in this manifestation of energy
there is an undercurrent of love and desire for the woman and no real harm
is done to the woman. In the situation with which the present verse is
dealing, it is understood that in his heart the husband does have some
love and desire for the wife. For, he has the option of divorcing her but
he is not taking that option. Of course, there are husbands who neither
love their wives nor divorce them, but keep them to punish them or exploit
them. But we are not dealing with this situation here, since the
assumption is that ill-will (nushuz) is from the wife's side. As for the
argument that the Prophet intensely disliked beating, we can say that his
intense dislike was for the type of beating done outside the limits set
down by God. Second, the mention of beating may have the wisdom,
ironically, to protect wives against what is called wife battering. The
Quran does not always combat undesirable behavior by legal prohibition but
by some other means. Experience also shows that legal prohibition of an
action may not always be the most effective method to stop it. The Quran
by requiring that before any beating there should be admonishing and
separation of beds is providing a more effective measure against wife
battering, since battering is the result of uncontrollable anger or
aggression and this anger or aggression can be tamed during admonishing
and separation of beds. No statistics exist, but I feel confident that if
we research the behavior of men in different religious groups over a long
enough period and a vast enough area of the globe, we will find that the
incidents of cases of wife battering and other forms of cruelty to women
have been less, both in terms of numbers and seriousness, among Muslims
than in other groups. "But if they obey you, then seek
nothing against them". Here obey means that the wife accepts the
husband's fair and justified demands or expectations. "Seek nothing
against them" means that after the wife has abandoned nushuz and
returned to the decent way one partner in marriage should behave towards
the other, the husband should forgive and forget the past and start a new
page. "Behold, God is most high and
great". These words are meant for both the husband and the wife.
Above them both is God in whose name they were joined in marriage. The
husband should not forget that the greater physical strength and the
superior earning power which give him a certain advantage in marriage
comes from God. He should not, therefore, try to push this advantage to
unjustified limits. In particular, he should not expect to be the lord and
master of the wife. At the same time the wife should realize
that her nasty behaviour is causing a lot of unhappiness to all the
family, to herself, to the husband and to the children and other close
relatives. She cannot do this to the near ones without displeasing God and
without paying for it in some way. Notes (1) To the category of forged traditions
encouraging women to be obedient to their husbands may safely be relegated
the hadith in which the Prophet is reported to have said: "If I were
to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would order a woman
to prostrate herself before her husband" (Tirmidhi, Ahmad). This
hadith stands in marked contrast to the whole of the Qur'an and most other
ahadith. To be sure the Qur'an and Hadith recognize that in the marriage
relationship men have greater responsibilities and therefore also a degree
of greater rights, but they do not see this degree in terms that can
translate into the kind of subservience of women to their husbands implied
in this particular hadith. In fact, masters have greater rights over their
slaves than husbands over their wives, as also parents (especially
mothers) over their children and yet the Qur'an and Hadith nowhere say
that masters or parents are like majazi (figurative, metaphorical) Gods
for their slaves or children. How then can husbands be majazi Gods for
their wives? (2) A hadith which talks about the
obedience of the husband by the wife and against whose authenticity there
seems to be no strong arguments is quoted by Nasa'i and Bayhaqi on the
authority of Abu Hurayra. It reads: Notice that this hadith is consistent with
the Qur'an in that it does not command women to be obedient to their
husbands but simply considers such obedience a desirable quality of a
wife. (3) When a husband dislikes something about
the wife without the wife having any nushuz or ill-will towards him, he
should continue the marriage relationship in a maruf way as far as
possible, remembering that (4) The Prophet said: "(How odd it is
that) one of you should whip his wife as a slave is whipped and then sleep
with her at the end of the day". (Bukhari and Muslim, on the
authority of 'Abdallah bin Zam'a) (5) In movies, for example, one often sees the following type of scene: a man and a woman love each other but in some matter the woman simply does not want to listen to the man even though she realizes deep down that he is thinking for the good of both of them. The man tries all the tender ways to bring the woman around to his point of view without any success. Frustrated, the man at last bursts into anger and gives the woman a slap. This shakes the woman out of her mood and she falls on his shoulders, with both happier than before. Of course, movies are no guide for us but sometimes they do represent human nature and life as it is. First published in Al-Ummah, Montreal,
Canada in 1984. Copyright Dr. Ahmad Shafaat. |