The education and lightening of the load of the enabler
begins in a crisis or through a professional intervention. The recognition of
the care-taking role allows the enabler the freedom to step out of it. Strong feelings usually accompany recognition of this longstanding
role.
Fear of betrayal, and loss of the alcoholic/addict,
especially if they are in treatment, on their own independent path to recovery
and no longer in need of the enabler's care-taking.
Anger at the chemically dependent person and at
oneself for allowing the care-taking to happen.
Grief and shock over the loss of control, the
downward spiral of the disease, the loss of self-esteem, the isolation.
Depression over the need for the enabler to change
their own behavior also, not just the alcoholic/addict.
The payoff is a return to healthy self-esteem,
expression of long-repressed emotions, and a relief from the burden of
responsibility. The enabler needs to develop a faith in the therapeutic value
of the natural course of events, re-establish a basic trust in themselves and
their life process.
