|
submit
articles |
| Treatment Issues Uzma Mazhar Common Features in Treatment for the Victim and the Abuser:
Treatment is an individualized developmental process of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual growth, each individual is met at his/her level within his/her particular context. Treatment is a process of empowerment: promoting the awareness self, including strengths and weaknesses; recognizing choices and encouraging responsibility for the choices they make. Treatment is needs-focused: proceeding from the understanding that needs are expressed through behaviors and that the primary goal of any intervention is to move past behavior to reach the individual's needs, desires, emotions and thoughts. Behaviors change when needs are met. Treatment teaches acceptance of feelings: each individual is encouraged to become aware of, express and own his/her feelings within the context of nonjudgmental relationships. Treatment takes into account each individual's strengths, gifts, skills and attributes. Treatment involves the development and review of the process and its effects, in consultation with the systems (family, spouse, work, etc) that relate to each individual. Treatment is the recognition of and respect for the culture of the individual and his/her family, as well as their right to self-determination in such areas. Treatment is in the "process": continually evaluating how it is impacting the client at any given time. Treatment is long-term, takes time, effort and ongoing hard-work.
Abusive relationships do not change without sustained individual and couples therapy specifically targeted toward the abusive relationship patterns. Typically the abusive partner denies that they have a problem, and even when they do admit they refuse to go for treatment. These relationships cannot be changed from one side, it takes mutual honesty, openness and willingness from both parties to work through these issues. If the abuser is unwilling to own their behavior and seek help the prudent course of action is to remove yourself totally from the situation. This is painful, but is generally safer and ultimately better for both parties than allowing the cycle of abuse to continue. Be prepared for the abuse to increase after you leave - stepping out of the cycle enrages the abuser, as it shatters their illusion of control. 75% of women killed by their abusive partners are murdered after they leave. Remember that by staying you are condoning and enabling the abuse - and helping your partner to stay sick. If your partner is unwilling to get help the only safe course of action is to totally remove yourself from the situation and seek help on your own.
|