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| Domestic Violence in Muslim
Families Dr. Jeremiah McAuliffe One of the most disgusting stereotypes
concerning Islam is that it condones and even encourages the abuse of
women. Of course, Islam says nothing of the sort. The opposite is the
case. At a time when women were nothing but the playthings and property of
men Allah (SWT) commanded that they be given rights, respect and kindness. How disturbing to hear that abuse of women
still continues-- and that some men somehow think it is their right to
even determine when women can talk on the telephone! Most recently
I've heard stories of domestic abuse among Muslims that are absolutely
terrifying and criminal. Whoever thinks that this is Islamic is, in
my opinion, ignorant of the merciful marriage of Islam. Not only is abuse
not Islam, it is illegal and inhuman, cruel and wrong. Neither the East nor the West has a
monopoly on abuse of women. We hear of bride burning in some cultures,
commercialized child sex trade in others. In the US 30% of all murdered
women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. Christian men justify this by the wrong
interpretation of the Biblical injunction "women, be obedient to your
husbands". Muslim men also justify such actions on wrong and
misguided readings of Qur'an and hadith. Do we forget that A'isha, Mother
of Believers, was active in politics, military campaigns and clarification
of hadith? Such Muslims, in an attempt to rationalize their women-hating,
sex-obsessed attitudes and behaviors ignore the total ethos presented by
the Qur'an and sunnah. As Muslims we are commanded by Allah to
enjoin what is good and fight what is evil. We are to be kind to fellow
Muslims. Abuse of women and wife battering and oppression of women,
restricted educational opportunities and forced seclusion, is unkind and
evil. Men who are aware that their brothers are abusive to their wives
MUST speak up and forbid this great evil. How can we be so quick to
comment upon the lack of traditional hijāb for women and fail to address
abuse and battering when we are aware of its presence?! We strain at the
gnat and swallow a camel! We know that men who beat women tend to get
worse. It begins with verbal abuse-- putting her down, being overly
critical, having that sneer, contempt, or edge in his voice. It then
progresses to hitting and slapping and then to life-threatening
situations. Often, it leads to murder. Such men need help, the help of
their brothers who are courageous enough to say "Stop!" And yes,
courageous enough to call the police if need be. A rapidly growing body of evidence shows
that women's experience of violence has direct consequences, not only for
their own well-being but also for that of their families and communities. In addition to broken bones, third degree
burns and other bodily injuries, abuse can have long-term mental health
consequences, including depression, suicide attempts and post traumatic
stress disorder. Violence involving sexual assault may also cause sexually
transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies and other sexual and
reproductive health problems. For girls, the health consequences can
carry on into their adult lives. Violence against women can also have
inter-generational repercussions. For example, girls who witness the same
sorts of violence are more likely than other girls to become involved in
relationships in which their partners abuse them. Thus, violence tends to
be carried over from one generation to the next. The health care system, the judiciary,
police and social services are largely ill-prepared to deal with the
consequences of domestic violence or even recognize the signs. Both health
care workers and the police must be trained to recognize the obvious and
the more subtle signs of violence. In addition community resources need to be
made available for the victims of domestic violence and the police and
judiciary should make it easier for the perpetrators of domestic violence
to be punished. Women should and must be protected by society. Battered women live in fear for their lives and safety as well as in financial fear. A little boy or girl who grows up witnessing battering will, as adults, be likely to batter or be battered themselves. Let's stop this horrendous cycle. If you hit your wife, get psychiatric help. If you are being hit get help. |