Domestic Violence

Islâmic Perspective an Nisa 4.34 Most Misunderstood Verse of The Qur'ân regarding Women.  A Guide for Imams dealing with Abusive Men     After 9-11: Increase in Domestic Violence   Newsweek   Authority and Abuse of Power in Muslim Marriages  Shaykh Seraj Hendricks Challenges of Domestic Violence Against Women in The Gaza Strip  Conference Report   Community Pressure as a Deterrent to Injustice  Uzma Mazhar    Domestic Violence and Sharî'ah: A Comparative Study of Muslim Societies in the Middle East, Africa and Asia  Lisa Hajjar (external link) Domestic Violence: Islamic Perspective  Uzma Mazhar Domestic Violence in Muslim Families  Dr. Jeremiah McAuliffe Domestic Violence in the Southeast Muslim Immigrant Population in the US.  Ruksana Ayyub Ending Domestic Violence in Muslim Families  Sharifa Alkhateeb Forced Marriages  Uzma Mazhar Hadith on Incest & Rape  Faqihuddin Abdul Kodir Homeless Muslim Women and Children in the US???   Innocent Victims of Violence: UAE  Gulf News Is Domestic Violence Endemic in Pakistan: Perspective from Pakistani Wives  Masood Ali Shaikh Kidnapped by Daddy  Joan Naby Library: Social Issues: collection of related articles Misinterpretations about Islam that Perpetuate Domestic Violence    Muslim Women, Domestic Violence and the Role of Education & Awareness Programs  Altaf Husain Muslim Men's Responsibility in Eliminating Oppression of Women  Uzma Mazhar Her Honor: An Islamic Critique of the Rape Laws of Pakistan from a Woman-Sensitive Perspective  Asifa Quraishi LLM Rape & Incest: Islamic Perspective  Uzma Mazhar  Right & Responsibility to Defend/Fight against Abuse/Violence: Islamic Perspective    See the Big Picture 4.34-35  Uzma Mazhar  Sexual Abuse: Data and Facts: Reported Cases of Child Sexual Abuse in Pakistan during 1999 Sexual Abuse in Saudi Arabia  Wafaa Al-Kredia   Shelters for Battered &/or Homeless Muslim Women Un-Islamic Marriages Deny Women's Rights  Violence: Islamic Perspective Violence Against Women - UAE When Mortals Act as Gods  Nilofer Ahmed   DAWN Why?  A Poem   Sharifa al Khateeb    Women's Rights in the Islamic Prenuptial Agreement  Rabia Mills (external link)

Domestic Violence occurs in all classes, regardless of socio-economic and educational level.

Domestic Violence occurs across all gender, ethnic, cultural and religious boundaries.

Honor Killings still exist in Islamic AND Western Countries.

The West prefers to use the term 'Crimes of Passion' when referring to similar crimes in the Western World.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline.  
A 24-hour, toll-free service that provides crisis assistance and local shelter referrals for callers across the country. The hotline has responded to more than 500,000 calls, mostly from individuals who have never before reached out for assistance. 
The hotline number is 1-800-799-SAFE
TDD line for the hearing impaired is 1-800-787-3224.

Legal Issues Applying for Immigrant Status for Victims of Abuse  Balancing Disparate Power  Ashwin Sharma

Psychological Issues About the Abuser: Profile    About the Victim: Profile       Brainwashing Tactics in Domestic Violence     Cycle of  Violence and Abuse       Domestic Violence Effects Children  Don't Hit Your Children   Effects of Witnessing Domestic Violence on Children   Examples of Violence against Women through-out the Life Cycle    Factors that Perpetuate Domestic Violence    Female Genital Mutilation  (FGM)   FGM Debate (2006) Health Consequences of Violence     Healthy vs. Abusive Relationships     Healthy vs. Unhealthy Expression of Anger     Incest      Intervention Programs for Batterers  Myths about Family Violence  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder:  PTSD Safety Plan Guidelines Safety Tips:  How to Protect Yourself in an Emergency   IMPORTANT    Sexual Abuse    Sexual Abuse: Facts about the Victim      Sexual Abuse: Facts about the Abuser    Signs of Domestic Violence Treatment Issues   Warning Signs: What to look out for in an abusive relationship.     Why Women Stay with Abusive Husbands    Women and the Barriers to Leaving

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence is a learned pattern of behaviors used to control the other person you are in a relationship with.  This includes abusing your parents, spouse, children and other family members.  

Domestic Violence includes mental, emotional, verbal, sexual or physical abuse such as constant demeaning and humiliating remarks, threats, slapping, kicking, hitting, choking, destroying property, economic deprivation, forced sexual activity, isolation and starvation. 

Domestic Abuse includes spousal and child abuse.  Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence...young, old, rich or poor; white, brown, black, yellow or red; professional or unemployed; educated or uneducated; male or female. 

Abusive relationships are progressive.  Abusive relationships get worse over time.  Emotional and verbal abuse frequently shifts to more overt threats or physical abuse, particularly in times of stress.  Abusers are generally very needy and controlling; the abuse escalates when they feel they may lose their partner, or when the relationship ends. 

A specific relationship is not the source of the abuse.  Abusive patterns are part of the emotional make up of both the parties involved.  Without help and outside intervention the abusive patterns will be repeated in all relationships. The emotional volatility creates the abusive relationship climate. 

It is important to recognize that abusive relationships are painful for both parties. These relationships are usually highly reactive and drama driven, therefore mutually abusive on some level. Clear-cut lines are hard to draw, and the victim /abuser dichotomy is an oversimplification.  Abusers don't make a conscious choice to be abusive, just as victims don't make a conscious choice to be victimized; they are generally doing the best they can given the emotional and psychological issues they face.  However, it is a choice to the extent that everyone ultimately responsible for their own actions... whatever the underlying cause may be.  Accountability is a concept that both have to learn.

Abusers and victims are survivors of abuse themselves.  Many of the attributes of abusers are documented trauma based adaptations to childhood emotional, physical and sexual abuse.  Abusers and victims act out of deep-seated shame and feelings of inadequacy. They seek to pull their partner down to make themselves feel better. 

There is no typical profile of domestic violence victims. Children living in homes where a mother is abused are more likely to be abused themselves. Even if they are not, children who witness abuse are victims.  Children will grow up either becoming abusers or victims of abuse... they have learned these patterns of abuse from their parents.

No one deserves to be abused. No one can provoke violence. The abuser chooses to abuse.  Abusers are controllers who seek to isolate and overpower their victims.

Did you know?

  A woman is beaten every 12 seconds nationwide (FBI)

  One out of four women in the United States will be assaulted by a domestic partner in her lifetime.

  One-third of pregnant women are severely beaten.

  Children in homes where domestic violence occurs are physically abused or seriously neglected at a rate of 1500% higher than the national average of the population.

  More than 40% of murdered women are killed by a spouse or someone with whom they have been intimate. 10% of murdered men are killed by their partners.

  Approximately 90% of children in violent homes are aware of the assault against their mother.

  Of all juvenile and adult criminals, 80% lived in domestically violent environments.

  Male children exposed to domestic violence have a 700% greater chance of beating their female partners later in life.

  Children from violent homes have a 300% higher risk of alcohol/drug abuse and juvenile delinquency. (March of Dimes)

  Battered mothers are 8 times more likely to hurt their children when they are being abused than when they are safe from violence.

  25% of female suicides are preceded by a history of battering

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