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Abuser
Profile
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Uncontrolled
temper. Have very short fuses and become immediately
angry.
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Have
poor coping skills
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Unreasonable
and demanding at times
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Unpredictable
-
Give
double messages... pendulum swings from loving to abusive
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Deny that the abuse has occurred or make
light of a violent episode.
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Blame the victim, other people or outside
events for the violent attack.
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Abusers don't act
because they are "out of control."
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Abusers choose to
respond to a situation violently. They are making a conscious decision
to behave in a violent manner.
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They
know what they're doing and what they want from their victims.
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They
are not acting out of anger.
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They
are not reacting to stress.
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Extreme
jealousy.
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Express remorse and beg for forgiveness with
seemingly loving gestures.
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Can
be hard workers and good providers.
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Can
be witty, charming, attractive and
intelligent.
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At
times are loving parents
- Intense fear of abandonment.
- A background involving physical,
emotional or sexual abuse, abandonment issues.
- Unrealistic expectations of a
relationship. (To "fix" them or solve their problems.)
- Isolation and antisocial temperament.
- Recklessness. (dangerous sexual
behavior, reckless driving, drug use etc.)
- Inability to accept responsibility for
their behavior and actions, even in the face of dire consequences.
- Cruelty to children and animals.
- Threats of violence.
- Low self-esteem, shame.
- Inability to respect interpersonal
boundaries, a compulsion to violate boundaries.
- Emotional volatility - fear of being
"out of control".
- Need for power and control to compensate
for the above.
- Abuse generally escalates when the
partner leaves.
Many of the characteristics above are
documented trauma based adaptations to childhood emotional, physical and
sexual abuse.
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