| Grief: Delayed Reaction
Question:
HELLO, I AM A 19 YEAR OLD MALE
LIVING IN NY. MY FATHER DIED 3YEARS AGO AND EVER SINCE THAT TIME MY
EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING HAS DECLINED. ABOUT A YEAR AFTER HE PASSD AWAY I
DEVELOPED A SEVERE SOCIAL ANXIETY/ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION DISORDER. I WAS
PUT ON PAXIL . I RESPONDED TO IT . THE PANIC ATTACKS STOPPED THAN I
STOPPED THE MEDS.THE ANXIETY HAS RETURNED SOMEWHAT. BUT THE DEPRESSION IS
VERY SEVERE. I FEEL VRY HOPELESS AND DRAINED WITHOUT ANY HOPE FOR THE
FUTURE. MY MAIN PROBLEM NOW IS MY LACK OF BEING ABLE TO SUCCEED. I
START THINGS MOTIVATED AND FEELING NORMAL. BUT WHEN I GET STRTED SOON
AFTER I DEVELOPE A FEELING OF "WHO CARES" AND QUICKLY QUIT AND
FIND MYSELF BACK WHERE I STARTED. ITS ALMOST AS IF SOMETHING DEEP DOWN
INSIDE IS HOLDING ME BACK. MAKING ME FAIL . ITS LIKE THE BAD PART OF ME IS
WINNING OVER THE GOOD. ITS A CONSTENT FIGHT INSIDE ME. I WANT TO SUCCEED
IN LIFE. BUT WHENEVER I GET MY HOPES UP THEY ARE QUICKLY SPOILED BY THIS
OTHER SIDE OF ME. AND THERE I LIE. FEELING HOPELESS AND USLESS AND
RESTRANED FROM GROWING AS A PERSON AND HONESTLY CANT TAKE IT. ANY ANSWERS
YOU CAN GIVE ME WILL BE GREATELY APPRCIATED. THANK YOU.
anthony j
Response:
Hello Anthony
You are still suffering from severe depression and anxiety. Since
you did respond to medication, my suggestion is to check with a
psychiatrist and start taking meds again. Once the meds stabilize
your mood and the symptoms are under control, then you need to work with a
psychotherapist to uncover the underlying dynamics of what is going on
with you.
It is not uncommon for PTSD symptoms to manifest a year or more after the
traumatic event. The symptoms of lack of energy, motivation,
interest; feelings of hopelessness and failure are very common in this
situation. It is not a sign of weakness. Taking meds or being
in therapy is not a sign of weakness either. It takes more courage
and strength to recognize a problem and to seek help for it than to avoid
dealing with it. Depression is treatable and you will be amazed at
the progress you will make with meds and therapy.
Losing a parent at such a young age is very traumatic, most people don't
recognize the impact it has on them. It is irrelevant whether one
was close to them or not, a parent... even an abusive parent... provides a
certain safety and security that children need. Sometimes coping
with grief takes a few years, it is not so easy to 'get over it and go on
with your life' as people make it sound. Loss also triggers other
underlying issues that one may be unaware of. So, don't feel
discouraged but do start treatment and you will see progress.
Regards
Uzma Mazhar
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