| Gambling
Question:
Hi. I am concerned that my brother in law has a narcissistic
personality disorder and that he is a compulsive gambler. He fits
most of the criteria in the DSM4 and I believe he has about $40,000 worth
of gambling debt. I contacted gamblers anonymous for information but
am unsure of how to best deal with him if he does in fact have NPD. I
am a pscyhotherapist and with emotionally disturbed children, but have
never worked with someone who acts like my brother in law. My
husband has thought that his brother has been off since he was young, I
always thought he was selfish and inconsiderate. But lately I'm
thinking perhaps he has a personality disorder. He has poor social
skills, has trouble making friends, always talks about himself, always
makes life easier for himself regardless of who he inconveniences, etc.
He talks about sex often and is very hung up on his looks. He
constantly talks about money and what he's going to do with all of his
earnings through shady deals. Please respond with some ideas or
approaches for me. He'll be here in 4 days!
zap
Response:
Hello Zap
In situations where the family sees the problem, but the identified
patient does not, the only thing that I see that works is having an
intervention. Getting family and friends together and confronting
the person with his problems so he can SEE what he is doing that is
harmful to himself and others. As you know until he realizes he has
a problem there is nothing much anyone can do. Most people when in
denial tend to rationalize and project whatever you say to them as your
problem and nothing to do with them. Making them see is tough, and
to some extent you have to let them hit 'rock bottom'.
Most of the time all the family can do is not 'enable' or 'rescue' them.
For him to change he has to be in long-term therapy. Treatment
for family members is best dealt with by a non-related professional.
For your peace of mind.. give him some literature on addictions that
may open his eyes to himself. The most anyone can do for him is to
help him see that he is harming himself.
Hope this helps
Regards
Uzma Mazhar |
