| Helping Children Cope With
Disasters
A catastrophe is very frightening for
children. It is important to acknowledge the frightening parts of the
disaster when talking with a child about it. Children depend on
daily routines: They wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, and play with
friends. When emergencies or disasters interrupt this routine, children
become anxious.
Several factors affect a child's response
to disaster:
- Children learn how to cope with
difficult situations from their parents. In a disaster, they'll look
to you and other adults for help. How you react to an emergency gives
them clues on how to act. If you react with alarm, a child may become
more scared. They see your fear as proof that the danger is real. If
you seem overcome with a sense of loss, a child may feel their losses
more strongly. Children sense their
parents' worries most of the time but they are particularly sensitive
during a crisis. Parents should share their concerns with their
children, and stress their abilities to cope with the situation.. but
in an age-appropriate manner. So what you tell a 2 year old will
be different from what you tell a 10 or 15 year old.
- A child's reaction also depends on how
much destruction he or she sees during and after the disaster. If a
friend or family member has been killed or seriously injured, or if
the child's school or home has been severely damaged, there is a
greater chance that the child will experience difficulties.
Limit the time they spend watching TV so that they are not being
exposed to the disaster for extended periods of time.
- A child's age affects how the child will
respond to the disaster. For example, six-year-olds may show their
concerns about a catastrophe by refusing to attend school, whereas
adolescents may minimize their concerns but argue more with parents
and show a decline in school performance. It is important to explain
the event in words the child can understand. Toddlers and
infants may not understand anything but do react to the aura of
tension in the home... they may resort to crying a lot or regress to
using the pacifier again, they may have to be toilet-trained again.
- Children's fears may stem from their
imagination, and you should take these feelings seriously. A
child feels afraid. Your answers and actions can provide reassurance.
Give them simple, basic information. Be honest and truthful,
children can sense when you are lying to them. When talking with
your child, be sure to present a realistic picture that is both honest
and manageable. Falsely minimizing the danger will not end
a child's concerns. Telling them not to worry will not calm them as the
child then relies on his own imagination which is not based on facts but
fears and their own helplessness.
Following a disaster, people may develop
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is psychological damage that
can result from experiencing, witnessing or participating in an
overwhelmingly traumatic (frightening) event. Children with this disorder
have repeated episodes in which they re-experience the traumatic event.
Children often relive the trauma through repetitive play. In young
children, distressing dreams of the traumatic event may change into
nightmares of monsters, of rescuing others or of threats to self or
others.
PTSD rarely appears during the trauma
itself. Though its symptoms can occur soon after the event, the disorder
often surfaces several months or even years later.
Parents should be alert to these changes:
- Refusal to return to school and
"clinging" behavior, shadowing the mother or father around
the house;
- Persistent fears related to the
catastrophe (such as fears about being permanently separated from
parents);
- Sleep disturbances such as nightmares,
screaming during sleep and bedwetting, persisting more than several
days after the event;
- Loss of concentration and irritability;
- Behavior problems - for example,
misbehaving in school or at home in ways that are not typical for the
child or temper-tantrums;
- Physical complaints (stomachaches,
headaches, dizziness) for which a physical cause cannot be found;
- Withdrawal from family and
friends,
- Lack of interest in activities,
decreased activity,
- Lack of energy or listlessness.
Feelings of fear are healthy and natural
for adults and children. But as an adult, you need to keep control of the
situation. When you're sure that danger has passed, concentrate on your
child's emotional needs by asking the child what's uppermost in his or her
mind. Having children participate in the family's recovery activities will
help them feel that their life will return to "normal." Your
response during this time may have a lasting impact.
After a disaster children are most afraid
that:
- the event will happen again.
- someone will be injured or killed.
- they will be separated from the family.
- they will be left alone.
In talking to them you need to directly
address these fears. Calmly and firmly
explain the situation. As best as you can, tell children what you know
about the disaster. Explain what will happen next. Get down to the child's
eye level and talk to them.
Encourage children to
talk about the disaster and ask questions as much as they want. Encourage
children to describe what they are feeling. Listen to what they say.
Include the entire family in the discussion.
Include children in
recovery activities. Give children chores that are their responsibility
this will help children feel they are part of the recovery. Having a task
will help them understand that everything will be all right and restores
confidence.
You can help children
cope by understanding what causes their anxieties and fears. Reassure them
with firmness and love. Your children will realize that life will
eventually return to normal.
Professional advice or treatment for
children affected by a disaster -- especially those who have witnessed
destruction, injury or death -- can help prevent or minimize PTSD. Parents
who are concerned about their children can ask their pediatrician or
family doctor to refer them to a child and adolescent psychiatrist or
other mental health professional.
Some Things That Will
Help Your Child Recover Are:
-
Hug and touch your
child often.
-
Reassure the child
frequently that you are safe and together.
-
Talk with your child
about his/her feelings about the disaster.
-
Share your feelings
too.
-
Give information the
child can understand.
-
Spend extra time with
your child at bedtime.
-
Allow children to
grieve about their lost treasures; a toy, a blanket, a lost home.
-
Talk with your child
about what you will do if another disaster strikes. Let your child
help in preparing and planning for future disasters.
-
Spend time together
in family activities to begin replacing fears with pleasant memories.
-
Be supportive and
non-judgmental.
-
Get and give
information.
-
Discuss factual
information about what caused the disaster. Talk about the disaster:
earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.
-
Share about recent
changes in your lives. This helps everyone know what is happening and
what to expect.
-
Maintain crucial
standards with children but be more flexible with less important
expectations.
-
Be flexible with
roles and chores.
-
Set priorities and
problem solve with input from family members.
-
Allow time to heal.
Give yourself and your family time to heal at their own pace. Think of
healing as a family issue not an individual one.
-
Give and ask for
support from family members, friends and the community.
-
Review emergency
preparedness.
-
Laugh. Use humor. Try
to lighten up if you can.
-
Be more tolerant.
Give each other space.
-
Validate each other:
Give hugs. Tell each other how much they are appreciated. Offer
praise.
-
After some time has
passed, review what has happened with your family. Concentrate on how
each person has changed or grown.
-
Take time to do fun
things.
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