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Helping
a Loved One Change Unhealthy Habits
- Be
careful of your own expectations.
You can try to influence and inspire others, but you can’t control
someone else’s behavior.
- Be
sensitive to where your loved one is in the change process.
You can “plant seeds” to help someone realize a change is in
order, but until the person decides he wants
to change your advice may not be welcome.
- Ask
what your loved one is getting out of unhealthy behavior.
Maybe together you can find some other way for him to receive the
satisfaction or the payoff from the unhealthy habit that won’t be
harmful to his health.
- Don’t
rely on fear.
Fear tactics only motivate in the short term and may breed a sense of
“doomed anyway” fatalism that can discourage change.
- Consider
the rewards.
Talk to your loved one about working toward a pleasurable goal that
changing the unhealthy habit may offer.
- Offer
to reciprocate.
Ask your loved one if there is a change he or she would like you to
make.
- Help
form an action plan with manageable steps.
Large goals can be overwhelming.
Suggest that your loved one take small steps toward change.
- Celebrate
victories, and be kind about relapses.
Success or failure is less important that making the attempt.
Mark small victories in an enjoyable way.
excerpt
from
Self Healing Newsletter Dr. Andrew Weil, August 1998
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