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Effects
of Witnessing Domestic Violence on Children
All children are affected by abuse and violence.
The signs may be different because of how kids decode and interpret the
experience, have learned to cope and survive in stress and the support
system available to them.
Emotional Effects:
-
guilt
- feel responsible for violence
-
shame
- "it doesn't happen anywhere else"
-
fear
- of expressing feelings (anger), of divorce or separation, of the
unknown, of injury, of a hostile world
-
confusion
- conflicted loyalties (love/hate)
-
anger
- about violence, abuse, chaos
-
depression
- a sense of helplessness and powerlessness to change
things
-
grief
- of losses
-
burdened
- inappropriate roles as caretaker, parent, etc.
Behavioral Effects:
-
act
out vs. withdraw
-
overachiever
vs. underachiever
-
school
refusal
-
care-taking
- filling adult roles
-
aggressive
bullying or passive doormats
-
rigid
defenses - aloof, sarcastic, rigid, blaming, defensive
-
seeking
attention in behaviors
-
bed-wetting
-
nightmares
-
excessive
shyness
Physical Effects:
-
somatic
complaints (headaches, stomach aches, asthma, etc.)
-
nervous,
anxious - short attention span
-
tired,
lethargic - (seems like lazy )
-
sickly...
colds, flu, etc.
-
neglect
personal hygiene
-
regression
in developmental tasks (regressive behaviors)
-
no
reaction to physical pain
Social Effects:
-
isolated
- no friends or distant in relationships
-
avoids
bringing friends home
-
relationships
with friends may start intensely, ending abruptly
-
difficulty
trusting others
-
poor
conflict resolution skills
-
excessively
socially involved (overcompensates by staying away from home)
-
avoids
spending time with family
Cognitive Effects:
-
feels
responsible for violence or abuse
-
blames
others for their behavior (to not act responsibly
-
feels
that it s okay to hit or verbally abuse others you care about to get
what you want; express anger; feel powerful
-
low
self-concept (cannot succeed in changing violence/abuse)
-
don't
ask for what they need
-
don't
trust (the promises to change)
-
identify
roles as... being a boy means... being a girl means... being a
man/woman/parent means... uses abuser and/or victim as examples
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