Parents hit children when they feel out of control and helpless.  A child may frustrate you, but that is not reason enough to hit them.  Hitting is a parent's problem, not the child's fault.

Hitting, slapping, or spanking children as punishment shows them that it's okay to hit others to solve problems and can train them to punish others in the same way they were punished.

Physical punishments stop unwanted behavior only for a short time. Even with very harsh punishment, children may adapt so that it has little or no effect. Using even more punishment is equally ineffective.

Nonphysical methods of discipline help children deal with their emotions and teach them nonviolent ways to solve problems.

Here are some suggestions:

• Giving children 'time out' -- making the children sit quietly, usually 1 minute for each year of age (this is not appropriate for very young children),
• Taking away certain privileges or treats,
• 'Grounding' -- not allowing the children to play with friends or participate in school or community activities (this is only appropriate for older children or adolescents).

Punishment that involves taking away privileges or 'grounding' should be consistently applied for realistic, brief periods.

Children need to feel that if they make mistakes, they can correct them.  Show them how to learn from their errors. Help them figure out what they did wrong and how they can avoid making similar mistakes in the future. It is especially important not to embarrass or humiliate your child at these times. Children always need to feel your love and respect.

A positive approach to changing behaviors is to emphasize rewards for good behavior instead of punishments for bad behavior. Remember that praise and affection are the best rewards.

Be consistent about rules and discipline.  When you make a rule, stick to it. Children need structure with clear expectations for their behavior. Setting rules and then not enforcing them is confusing and sets up children to 'see what they can get away with.

Parents should involve children in setting rules whenever possible. Explain to your children what you expect, and the consequences for not following the rules. This will help them learn to behave in ways that are good for them and for those around them.

Violence in the home can be frightening and harmful to children. Children need a safe and loving home where they do not have to grow up in fear. A child who has seen violence at home does not always become violent, but he or she may be more likely to try to resolve conflicts with violence.

Work toward making home a safe, nonviolent place, and always discourage violent behavior between brothers and sisters. Keep in mind as well that hostile, aggressive arguments between parents frighten children and set a bad example for them.

If the people in your home physically or verbally hurt and abuse each other, get help from a psychologist or counselor in your community. He or she will help you and your family understands why violence at home occurs and how to stop it.

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