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| A NOTE ABOUT ALCOHOL AND DRUGS The access of alcohol and drugs for today’s children is EVERYWHERE! While this is scary and overwhelming to a parent, one can learn to be aware, communicate and intervene when necessary with your child. Key Thoughts About Guiding Your Child Through The Temptations Of Drugs and Alcohol Assess Your Own Usage and Beliefs. There is a difference with parental use-age of legal substances versus a child and illegal use-age. Each family must assess their own beliefs but for some the parental use is really abuse or dependence. It will be difficult for the child to respect your rules if you are not respecting yourself. Listen To Your Child. As children grow they appear to not need their parents But They Do! In reality they still want your caring but in a different way. They may not sit down for a formal time together or participate in as many family events but they still relish the caring. Now there are more Windows Of Opportunity which are short, brief moments where your child will spill his feelings and receive support then appear to push away. This push/pull is part of normal teenage emotional growth as they struggle to develop themselves towards adulthood. Don’t Be Fooled. Exposure to and use-age of alcohol and drugs may begin as early as 10-12. Previously the focus was on teenage use but frequently the first use is occurring in 5th or 6th grade. Set Boundaries and Limits. Even though your child is older they are still a child. They need rules, boundaries and limits which are appropriate for their age. The adolescent and parent need to discuss fair and appropriate expectations and consequences. All should have input. Some degree of compromise helps the teen learn to communicate and work out problems. But it is important that in certain areas if a parent is uncomfortable their decision will be what establishes the rule, not peers or what other parents are doing. It takes a caring parent to be able to say no when all others are doing something unsafe. Do also realize your baby is growing up and if they have earned appropriate privileges to your satisfaction they need the positive feedback and reward. If privileges are abused the child back-steps, receives consequences and has another opportunity to re-earn privileges. This helps the child to accept responsibility for their choices and to re-group after a poor choice decision. Mistakes are ok, they are the learning tools of growing up. Mistakes help a child to believe they can become self-sufficient and overcome bumps. Be careful to not always cover their mistakes for them as they lose the opportunity to learn. A teen’s self-esteem also rises when the know they have owned their behavior, worked a problem through and regained privileges. Teach yourself about alcohol and drugs, what they look like, what are the effects, what are the signs of alcohol/drug usage. Intervene when you suspect alcohol/drug usage. |