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| The Art of Silence Uzma Mazhar Silence as a form of communication!
Have you ever thought of silence in this context? In learning the techniques of therapy, I was taught to let silence
work for me during a session with a client. Periods of
silence allow the inner workings to happen.
Silence allows the inner process to blossom.
Silence helps stop the external chattering of the ‘monkey mind’
and teaches us to listen to the inner dialogue.
Silence helps us dig deeper into our own selves, to know ourselves
better and to find the answers within us. So many of us feel troubled when everyone
is quiet that we often begin talking even it if does not
really relate to the situation at hand.
Some of us start forming answers in our mind and don’t even wait
for the other person to finish what they are saying.
We don’t even listen with full attention.
This superficial level of dialogue is conditioned, it is learned
information; not inner wisdom. How wonderful it would be to learn the art
of silence and know when to remain quiet. In the quietness, thoughts and
emotions are formed in relation to what was being discussed. We need time to reflect and respond.
If we speak too quickly we lose the 'thread' of the process.
Once the silence is broken - the moment is lost. Think back to some of your conversations.
Couples often make the mistake of feeling that when their partner states
something, they are expected to fix it or come up with a solution.
Most of the time the partner really simply wants to be heard, to be
able to vent, to think out loud, to process their thoughts. When we speak
too quickly and try to solve the situation, the partner feels he/she has
not been heard. I have seen that when I encourage clients
to look within, they inevitably come up with a better understanding of
their problem; as well as the answers and insights they need to resolve
it. They are just not used to allowing themselves the silence
that is needed to know their real inner self.
Our culture and society doesn’t encourage this way of being.
We are so busy creating destructive distractions for ourselves that
we don’t even know our real self.
This powerful silence is different from the
obsessive worrying we are prone to. Worrying
is the incessant chattering of the over-active mind that is fueled by your
fears. Silence is receptive
listening. It is being open
with total trust. Silence is
allowing yourself to be. Our
thoughts are not linear and neither is our life.
Our inner self connects to pertinent information according to its
relevance to an issue. When
we allow our inner self the silence it needs, it will pull out the
necessary information. Like ‘connect the dots’ it retrieves all the
information, even long forgotten information, and it makes complete sense.
Worrying and obsessing over things is limited, linear thinking, and
that is why it does not get us out of our stuck ways. Silence helps you evolve and grow. It helps your wisdom blossom. It teaches you to trust your inner self. Silence flows like poetry. Silence is the dance of discernment. Silence is the language of communication with God. Uzma Mazhar © 2001
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