|
submit
articles |
| Anger and Dejection: An
Islamic Perspective Shahid Athar MD When God created human beings, He created
many emotions and desires within him, which we call human instincts. These
include positive qualities such as recognizing truth and expressing it,
love and compassion, pure physiological desires such as being thirsty,
hungry and the need for sex. Then there are some negative qualities such
as hate and anger, with resultant violence and dejection. The angels who
were the witnesses to Adam's creation knew about some of the negative
qualities of man and questioned the creation of this new being who was to
create "'mischief on earth." (Quran 2:30) However, at the same time, the Creator also
instilled some protective mechanisms for fighting these negative
instincts. "Man was created weak," says the
Quran. During the moment of weakness, we succumb to the designs of our
enemy, that is, the devil, who "will attack us from front, from
behind, from the side," in order to divert us from God consciousness
and return to our true animistic nature. Thus anger by itself is not
unnatural; it is the expression of anger that if done wrongfully, can lead
to problems. The difference between the wild beasts and wild humans is the
difference of free will. Anger is a destabilizing thought. It is the
most dividing emotion between friends; it takes away judgment, leads to
depression, madness and wrong actions that we would repent later on when
we are not angry. But why do we get angry to begin with? It is either an
unexpected provocation or unexpected situation that leads to frustration
and an angry response. During anger, one can physically or
verbally abuse a person that he or she loves, hurt another living being
like an animal, or during the dejection phase of anger, one can hurt him/herself and even commit suicide. When anger is directed toward a group of
people, then it can manifest in terrorism, whether against people of other
faiths or nations, or against even one's own government as is seen in the
case of the Oklahoma City bombing. However, all anger is not of satanic
origin. How can we blame Satan for a child who is angry because he does
not get his toy or when he is hungry? The point I am making is that the natural
fulfillment of normal desires, whether in terms of food or sex, is a
prerequisite for prevention of anger. There are many chemicals and
hormones that affect our moods and behavior. It is well known that
hypoglycemia and hyperthyroidism precipitate irritability and anger. We
must keep our hormones in balance in addition to facilitate our spiritual
well being. Prophet Mohammed (Pbuh), who was sent to
mankind to teach them good moral conduct, learned to control his anger
toward the Unbelievers and teach them appropriate expressions. He
constantly spoke against being angry. One companion asked him, Give me
some short advice by virtue of which I hope for good in the life
hereafter, and he said, "Don't be angry." Another person asked,
what would save me from the wrath of God, and he said, "Do not
express your anger." A third person asked three times, 0 Prophet of
God, give me an order to do a short good deed, and he said, "Don't be
angry." Once he asked a question of his companion, "Who among
you do you consider a strong man?" They said, the one who can defeat
so-and-so wrestler in a fight, and he said, that is not so. The one who is
strong is the one who can control himself at the time of anger. He also
said that anger is like fire, which destroys you from within, and it can
also lead you to the fire of hell by your own expressions of anger
unjustly. Being angry is like being drunk. In both
cases, we do not know what we are doing, hurting ourselves or someone
else, and afterwards when the intoxication is over, we repent. Caliph Omar
used to say, the one with all its good in anger gets salvation. (?) Shiekh
Hassan Basri said that one of the signs of the Believers is that his anger
will not prevail over him. Anger should be distinguished between the
natural response to wrongdoing and disbelief. A person who has no feelings about
oppression, wrongdoing and disbelief is, in fact, an impotent person
emotionally. It has been said, "Evil flourishes when a few good
people do not do anything to oppose it." Thus response to injustice
and operation in a civilized way is the appropriate expression of anger.
Being neutral to injustice is equal to contributing to injustice.
Sometimes taking arms in order to fight the oppression and injustice, in
defense or in offense is the basis of "the just war." However, this
"just war" is not justified on a personal level. Caliph Ali was once fighting in a war
imposed on Muslims, and the chief of the Unbelievers confronted him.
During the fight, the Ali was able to overcome him, who fell down on the
ground and Ali was about to kill him. This person, knowing his fate now,
had no choice so he spit on the face of Ali. Ali immediately got up and
left him alone. The man came running to him and asked, "You had a
chance to kill me since I was defeated; how come you didn't use your
sword?" Ali said, "I have no personal animosity toward you. I
was fighting you because of your disbelief, on behalf of God. If I had
killed you after you spat on my face, then it would have become my
personal revenge which I do not wish to take." That Unbeliever chief
became a Muslim immediately. When Prophet Mohammed (Pbuh) became angry
at someone else's wrong actions or disbeliefs, he never expressed it with
his hand or tongue. His companions knew that he was angry by looking at
his face, which would be red and with some sweat on his forehead, and he
would keep quiet for a moment, trying to control himself. What happens to us physiologically when we
are angry? Our heart rate and blood pressure go up; this is a direct
effect of excessive adrenalin in our system. Our physical strength
increases although spiritual strength decreases. Our intellect or power to
reason goes away, and things we would not justify in a normal state become
acceptable. The organs of our body, which are otherwise under our control,
become out of control. Thus, our tongues become abusive, and we would say
words that would hurt someone else. Our hands are out of control, and we
hit someone or sometimes ourselves. Our feet are out of control, and we
might kick someone whether a human, an animal or sometimes a broken
machine. How do we control anger? Contrary to other
teaching, I believe that to root out anger is impossible and unnatural,
and may even be harmful. A person who does not control or redirect the
expression of anger may have built up anger within himself, which may hurt
him physically. Apart from being depressed and having a feeling of
dejection, during the phase of unexpressed anger, his constant, rapid
heart rate and high blood pressure may harm his heart and even lead to a
heart attack over the long run. Apart from being violent, during the phase
of anger since his mind does not work, he may make a wrong decision about
his job or personal relationship which will affect his future. Medicine for Anger The first preventive medicine is to avoid
being too sensitive to provocation and become "deaf, dumb and
mute." It may be necessary for some people to engage in something
else to divert themselves. For saints, it may be advisable to engage in
remembrance of God or meditation, but for common folk, they need some
worldly tools. Since we believe that anger is an
expression of satanic control, we must not let this control take over. The
Prophet had advised us to say, "During anger, I seek refuge in the protection
of God." He also advised us that when angry, one should sit down or
lie down as it is not easy to hit someone else in those positions.
Obviously, the best remedy is to think about God and "ask yourself a
question, "are you in control of yourself, or would you allow God to
take control of you?" Think of God's anger and punishment. Is God's
wrath less than your wrath? And what happens when He expresses His wrath?
We humans who seek forgiveness from God must forgive others first. When
one forgive someone else, it establishes peace and tranquility in one's
heart, but at the same time, the matter of injustice or wrong actions
which made one angry, become a dispute between him and God; and if one do
not take revenge and forgive, God might act on ones behalf. The first attribute of God/Allah that we
Muslims are reminded (of) is Ar Rahman-Ar Rahim that is, Kind and
Merciful. God Himself said, my mercy overtakes my wrath, and He told in
one of the hadith qudsi , 'O son of Adam, when you get angry, remember
Me." Thus, remembrance of God and meditation will keep us on the
right track. One of the meditation words is 'ya Halim', which is one of the
attributes of God, being the Mild One. One can also pray to God to take
control of the situation and the person or the people who have caused His
anger. We must also think that tone life so dear to us, is a temporary
life, and we must not forget our death and destroy the life of eternity at
the cost of this life. Washing one's face with cold water or taking a cold
shower is also helpful. Thus it is important for one to redirect
the energy in engaging in something else. However, the height of sainthood
is to do the opposite of the provoking person expects one to do. If he
expects you to rebuke him or verbally abuse him back, then one should tell
him, I love you, and mention his good qualities. If he expects one to
physically attack him, then one embraces him and forgives him. That is how the saying, "turn the
other cheek" came about. One will become a calm person when he makes
peace with himself, his Creator and his surroundings. Anger is a costly
weed; it costs one his health, life in this world, and the life in the
Hereafter. This weed must be rooted out to allow the healthy plant of
righteousness, piety and service to God and His creation nurture and grow. Dejection Dejection is a state of sad thought,
depression and a feeling of being worthless. This could be a result of
anger with self or someone else, unexpressed anger, failure and
frustration. Dejection is a deadly disease that can harm the body acutely
or on a chronic basis and can irreversibly destroy one's relationships. It
is during this state of dejection that people have suicidal thoughts and
sometimes actions. During anger, however, a person tries to manifest his
verbal and physical strengthen, in dejection, he completely gives up,
thinking he is no good. Dejection slowly builds up while anger is a more
acute manifestation, which is like a moth which slowly eats away the human
spirit and body. Dejection can be the result of losses,
financial or of a dear one, or even failure in work, education and
business. Many times terminally ill patients, without any hope of getting
better, would also be dejected. Sometimes dejection or depression is due
to a chemical imbalance just like anger, whether it is a psychotropic
condition with depletion of brain amines, epinephrine, norepinephrine and
dopamine, or hormonal imbalance like hypothyroidism and Addison's disease.
Therefore, in all cases of depression, when a physician sees them, he does
and he must evaluate them for a treatable organic cause. The way to fight dejection again is a
mind-control phenomenon. We must realize that we are not in control of our
destiny. Certain failures and adversity have been designed to teach us
certain lessons. We must know that someone else is in control of our past,
present and future. This is what believer in God is what Caliph Ali once
said, that "what makes me a believer in God is the fact that I
realize that after doing everything humanly possible to make certain
things go right, it goes wrong unexpectedly, making me believe that
someone else was in control of that situation, not me." When we give good advice to our teenaged
children, encouraging them to do good and avoiding something wrong and
they don't listen, as a result they get into trouble. It is human to be
sad, but it is unnecessary to be dejected, thinking that I am not a good
parent. We will be questioned for things we can do that we must do, but we
will not be questioned on things that are beyond our control. The remedy for dejection is hope. God made
hopelessness unlawful by saying, "Do not despair of God's
mercy." Thus, no matter at what level of despair, depression and
frustration we are, whether loss of a loved one or a job, or as the result
of anger from someone else, we must not give up hope as there is a ray of
hope at the end of the tunnel. The greatest hope is mercy from God. Thus, whoever has lost worldly possessions,
expects and hopes that God will replace his losses in a better way. The
person who has lost a dear one hopes to see that dear one in the life
hereafter. Hope is the medicine that keeps one alive
and going, which is when we say, hang on, we mean hang onto the thread of
hope. It is not unnatural to be sad over situations and events. Even
Prophet Mohammed (Pbuh) used to be sad, looking at the plight of
Unbelievers and their rejection of his message for oneness of God, and not
becoming Muslims. And God reminded him by saying, "It is not your
duty to make them Muslims, but just proclaim the truth, and God gives
guidance to those whom He wishes." During dejection, there is darkness, but in
hope, there is light. Therefore, one must pray for this light to
illuminate the heart so that we can see beyond what is causing the
suffering today. If I knew that I would not see tomorrow, I might get
depressed, but the fact that I hope I will see tomorrow with all its
goodness, the love of my family, my friends, dear ones, the flowers, the
music, that I go to sleep in peace, turning myself to God. We must pray
for God's mercy and forgiveness so that we can love and forgive ourselves
and God's other creations and have peace with our Creator, our
surroundings and ourselves. We Muslims believe that all our suffering,
failures and adversities are nothing but a test from God, who has said:
"You will not enter Paradise until you are tested. " He has also
said, "Be sure we will test you with something of fear and hunger, a
small loss in wealth and lives and the fruits (of your labors), but give
glad tidings to those who patiently persevere, when afflicted with
calamities, to God we belong and to Him shall we return."' (Chapter
2:15, 5-157). with permission from Shahid Athar MD Reprint Requests: |
